It all began so slowly, the little pieces sliding into place one at a time. I didn't see it coming at first, I just knew the rumblings of change were upon me.
The past few Sunday's at church they had been going in depth on a sermon called Home Improvement. They covered pretty much all of Ephesians Chapter 5. We went through the ways of a believer which are as follows 1) Be ye therefore as followers of God, as dear children 2) And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for sweet-smelling savor. Then it got down to the meat of the sermon 3) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not once be named among you, as becometh Saints. 4) Neither filthiness nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. And That was a focus point, the giving of thanks. How many of really Thank God for everything? For the house the food, the rough day at work? In all things we are to give thanks.
The next part is one of my personal favorites as it addresses more of our actions. Ephesians 5:6) Let no man deceive you with vain words; for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 7)Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 8) For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of the light. 9) For the Fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth; 10) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. So basically if you look at your life, what you watch or listen to or who you hang out with, is this something that would embarrass you should the Lord return at the very moment? Even I am guilty of this. I love music, I love the way it makes me feel, and though I try to filter out the worst of it, I'm sure it doesn't necessarily fall into the category of "keeping my eyes on the Lord" The same with movies and television shows. Now as for people and vain words, have you seen facebook lately?
They did an entire sermon on the next few also. Ephesians 5:11) And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12) For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. (Whew we all have quite a few secrets don't we?) 13) But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
I love how the next two are worded, they give you hope when you have been stumbling around in the darkness. Ephesians 14) Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. 15) See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise. I have been struggling with finding my place back in the Lord's fold. Of hearing the Lord's voice again. I have been praying everyday to see the light yet again, and there I was in church hearing the words relating to all that was being said and drowning.
So then one Sunday I hear the sermon from Ephesians 4:20) But ye have not so learned Christ; 210 if so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22) That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23) And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24) and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Ah it was all coming together, I was nearing the point where I wanted to brush aside all of the cobwebs in my mind. The ones that are restraining me, trapping me in a horrid Memory Lane. I don't want to be there anymore.
And see I have also been struggling with what type of mother I was to my oldest son, that my sins interfered with his early childhood. My sins that turned me into a crazy person. One that lusted after men, after popularity, after being the best at whatever I was pursuing that moment. I gave my all to everything but God and my son and this has been eating me alive.
So needless to say Ephesians 4: 25) Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbors for we are members of one another. This was the opening to the marriage sermon. Can you function without one appendage on your body? Well you should think of your partner just like this. And when things get rocky remember Ephesians 4:26) Be ye Angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. 27) Neither give place to the devil. And this was brought into the family relationships which brings me to another toxic place in my past. At this point I knew where God was taking this.
Starting with Ephesians 29) it got more in depth and it is as follows: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30) And grieve not the hold Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31) Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. 32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
I need a lot of help with this. I need to find my way out of the darkness that has been trying to overcome me for years. Finally I am ready to embark upon this journey. I know the end result will be the inner peace I have been searching for. The harmony that I need to encompass all parts of my marriage. There are areas that I struggle with and areas that I excel at.
I end with this, if you read any of these scriptures and they speak to you the way they did to me, then heed God's call just as I am doing.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL
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