Unraveling

Hard year, from March to June.
 Normalcy gone.
Relax, but not true relax.

Friendship, slowly, mixed with children's laughter.
Late nights, bonfires, talking, talking, talking.

What happened?
Where did I go and how did I end up here?

In this place of deep regret tinged with deep embarrassment and a loss of a brief moment in time.

I am an adult.

I am

What? What am I?

Saved? Should be

Swear like a sailor, like I am uneducated, covered.

The f bomb always ready to drop

Cultured? Wasn't I?

Sweet, I was.

Anger welling up inside of me, like a red hot wave of lava

I must live with my decisions.

I must live with what I did.

Remorse? yes, a tiny bit so, possibly not so much as I should have though

Darkness? yes, the light inside of me is getting harder to see

Where can I find myself? Church? Haven't been in months
Bible's by my bed, read them, probably not.

I am truly lost and I

I don't know what to do or where to go from here.

Continue to grow is all that I can do