I have only been married five years and like a month. It hasn't always been peachy, but we have grown through the dark times and when it is sunny we continue to give thanks and seek the Lord for guidance. It wasn't until I heard the Pastor at my previous church do several sermons on Ephesians 5 that I understood what it meant to be a wife.
I am always trying to improve in this area. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom. In return I keep the house clean, I cook the majority of meals, I take the kids to all the appointments. Now my hubby helps me out with all of this when I need him to, and he loves to cook, so there are many times that we cook together. I am blessed to have such a wonderful hubby that provides for us and pretty much has a smile on his face all of the time. We both try very hard not to complain, but as humans sometimes it does happen. In all things, the good and the bad give thanks to the Lord, this is what we strive to do.
But I have several verses in the Bible that I read when I need a pick me up, or even sometimes when we might not be having a great getting along day. I pray that one day God will use us to minister to other young couples.
Here you go, I am starting at the beginning and going on from there.
Genesis 2:22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23) And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24)Therefore shall man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Proverbs 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. 11.) the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12) she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13) She speaketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14) she is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15) she riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16) She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she plantheth a vineyard. 17) She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18) She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19) she layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20) she stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21) She is not afraid of the snow for household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.22) She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23) Her husband is known in the gates, when he setteth among the elders of the land. 24) She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25) Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26) She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27) She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28) Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also and he praiseth her. 29) Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30) Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31) Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I think this verse is very important also, because sometimes arguments happen, and I strive not to go to bed angry at my husband. I will pray hard if what we were arguing about isn't resolved first.
Ephesians 4:27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.
When you are angry with each other, don't use hurtful words that you can't take back. Don't swear at them with those very bad words. Don't bring up the past, it is just that the past. And I know it is impossible to do this, but take a step back and start praying. I am working on this, it is a challenge to me, so I know it isn't easy. Don't belittle each other either.
This next part is one of my favorites!
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is the savior of the body. 24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. 27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29) for no man every yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. 30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31) FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH. 32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. 33) Nevertheless let every single one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
As a woman, it is hard to explain to others why I cannot just go do this or do that or spend this or spend that. The reason being my husband and I discuss every big purchase. He doesn't require me to tell him what is on the agenda for each day, but I do. I always tell him where I am going, who I will be seeing, and if I am going to the store what I am buying. Now of course, I don't always buy just that, and that is okay. But COMMUNICATION is important. Every night we sit down to dinner and we discuss his day my day and include our children in this conversation also. There are no secrets in our marriage. If he says he doesn't agree with something that I am considering I listen to his reasoning and then we find a happy medium.
I generally steer away from girls night outs, mostly because they often include drinking and I don't drink like that anymore. I put family time above everything. Mainly because we don't have a lot of time with my husband. Growing up, there weren't many holidays where my Dad wasn't working. My mom caused a lot of strife between my sister and I between her and my Dad. I don't want that for my kids. I don't want them having to visit each parent separately. My oldest son is in this situation. He is a wonderful young man and I love him with all my heart. But the biggest disservice I did to him, was having him outside of marriage. My poor child has struggled with finding his place between his dad's family and my husband and I. It is confusing for him, and his dad's family has different rules and expectations than we do. We talk about what is best for our son, but we are two very separate entities.
Hold your children tightly and hang onto your husband and your marriage. Divorce doesn't have to be an option. A family that prays together stays together. Both my husband and I take the kids to church. This is sometimes difficult being that he is Catholic and I am Baptist. I prayed about this and decided to compromise and agree to attend a Catholic church sometimes in order that our family is together in church on Sunday. I feel that it is very important to let our children see that we Put God first and that going to church together as a family is very important.
I pray that one day I can be this person.
Titus 2: 3-8 The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4) that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. 5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6) Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 7) In all things showing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 8) Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
Peter 3:1-7 Likewise, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they alo may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2) while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear 3) Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4) But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5) For after this manner in the old time the holy women, also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6) Even as SArah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7) Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life; htat your prayers be not hindered.
I never fully understood the Leave your Father and Mother part until my husband joined the Military and received orders for his first duty station. Up to that point I had lived in the same town my entire life. I went to school with some of the teachers at my kids school, I went to school with some of the policemen or firefighters, or bankers. I could go to the grocery store and see a minimum of five people I knew. I loved my home state, I loved everything about it. But then my husband calls and says we will be going to El Paso. What??????? Like the old Marty Robbins song??? Are you kidding me???????? But then I heard in the back of my mind the words "Go forth into the wilderness" Ummm Lord I mean no disrespect, but what about my family? Everyone I know and love is here, I love the medical for my kids I love the water I love the trees. But I heard those words again. So we loaded everyone up and we moved out here.
I want to add that I am 100% Daddy's girl. When in my home state I always did everything with my Dad, we talked everyday, saw each other nearly every day. It was hard for me to leave him, to know that when I go to new places I have to go alone, I won't have him there to hold my hand. It has been a huge growing experience. One that I would not have had if I had stayed there and not moved here. It has also taught my husband and I how to rely more fully on each other since it is just us and the kids here. It has also taught us how to reach out to others when there is a need. God is truly awesome in how he teaches and shapes us. That is why I say give your heart over to Jesus and you will know that he is always there for you guiding your steps and shaping you into the person he would have you to be.
Well, that is the shortened version of it. I ended up having to leave my oldest son behind. That is another story for another day, but it goes back to irresponsible decisions that resulted in my son having to live in two worlds.
So we came here and I hated it, but then I went back home to live for a very short time while the hubby was away, and I realized while being there that God wanted me here. He has a purpose for us here. We don't know what it is yet, but one day it will be revealed to us. Which brings me to my final verse which also happens to be my life verse.
Jeremiah 29:11 FOR I KNOW THE THOUGTS THAT I THINK TWOARD YOU, SAIDTH THE LORD, THOUGHTS OF PEACE, AND NOT OF EVIL TO GIVE YOU AND EXPECTED END.
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