Rising early in the morning and grabbing a quick shower and starting a pot of coffee. Getting my son up and going. A quick breakfast for him. The morning news, chugging coffee eating quickly.
The arrival can be calm or chaotic depending on the day. Shoes and jackets cast aside in search of toys or cartoons. Crying or shouting in glee, it can go either way. A quick word wishing mommy a good time and a deep breath for me.
Essential oils diffusing offering peace and calming. My skin saturated in them for the little ones to inhale as I hug them or talk to them.
Bananas, apples, and oranges. Muffins from my own kitchen made with love and prayers to share and bless all who partake.
Listening to little ones tell me about their home, their pet, what they like to eat. Watching them play and interact. Becoming a moderator and a mentor.
In any given day there can be tears, and tiny upset over the injustice of another's actions. There can be laughter and squeals of delight and thousands of questions. My little Chihuahua will be running for his life one minute and sleeping contentedly on the couch the next. A tiny pretend terror barking as all newcomers enter our home.
Standing a lot, stolen moments of sitting down don't last long. Hardly eating, instead waiting on my daughter to decide she doesn't want all of her food. Should I sit down to eat, it is interrupted by pleas for more of something, cleaning a spill, grabbing napkins, wiping faces, helping a little one to eat.
I give my all each and every day. My kids are learning that all are welcomed and friends. They look forward to a full house. I cherish my downtime, our downtime days, while my kids are asking for their new friends.
Not much time to miss the husband. But I do miss him. I do imagine him should he walk into one of my days. What would he see? The toys spread all over the place? The crumbs on the floor that I hadn't gotten swept up because I was changing diapers, wiping bottoms helping stack blocks?
I love my newfound chaos. I look at it as a blessing. Not just my blessing, but for those who need a safe place for their little one to play. The financial side is a perk a way to establish my place in the dynamic of the family finances.
The laughter makes my house sound full. The patter of little feet makes my heart sing. I myself will not be adding to our little brood, this is a way for me to hug a tiny baby, experience the joys of a beginner walker. To watch kids learn to interact with each other. A way to teach friendship, team work, cooperation and problem solving. Table manners are practiced, grace is recited. Ah to hear those little ones eagerly reciting grace on their own. My heart is truly full.
I have moments where I am asking myself what I am doing? Moments where I am sure I cannot possibly do this another day. But then I look at those tiny faces and I know it is all worth it.
Serving lunch is pure craziness. It can be grilled cheese, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and fluff, or peanut butter and bread. Throw in a hot dog then drink orders. The little ones wiggle and jiggle eating and laughing and learning how to sit at the table. Drinks are spilled, food is dropped, tiny faces are covered in their food. And I know I made this possible, I shared my love and I made them happy. Not all are happy, and some days aren't so fun. But ultimately it is a blessing to be surrounded by so many little people
April 8 2017
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