As the mom of a special needs child I have a speech in my head for each time a new educator meets my child. It is forthcoming and leaves little room for disagreement on the other parties side. I don't mean to immediately come off as abrupt and unbending, but that is how I come off.
If you have ever dealt with an IEP plan, you know what I mean. You get me. I have to be my child's advocate. I have to fight for him.
My story actually begins much earlier. My oldest was a hyper child. He really struggled. I was a new mom, a young mom, a single mom. I had absolutely no idea how to make life better for him. How to help him or even reach him. I put him into school at age five. I was full of misgivings and knew this was probably going to be a mistake. My options were slim. It was a horrible experience for us both. Until he was unenrolled in the middle of fifth grade, I fought with the school almost daily. He had an IEP for his reading and spelling and for the simple fact he had ADHD. We pushed aside labels and shrugged off the angry and disbelieving glances. Temper tantrums galore and lack of appetite. Medicines that we couldn't afford. Phone calls every day over everything from lunch he brought to hats he wore and did he have his medicine. Needless to say by the time he went to live with his Dad I was war weary.
My youngest was born three weeks early a high birth weight. We started out on shaky ground and moved toward progress. As time went on we realized that he couldn't walk properly. The help we needed was just out of grasp. A good pediatrician who refused to give up on us and we finally got the help we needed. At nearly two years he could walk with supports in his shoes and then we began working on speech. He needed occupational therapy and speech. Again just out of reach due to the lack of affordable insurance. Thus the reason we became a Military family. Had this not happened, my son would not be where he is today. (Insurance is another story for another day)
I began fighting for this child before he was two. It is all that I know to do. I know that he is seven. I know that he has fought through so much and that he is going to be okay. But the downside to being a Military family is the number of times that you must move.
This sweet little boy began Pre-K just months before we would move home from El Paso. The husband would be deploying. Then once we arrived home, he had to be set up at another school and begin again. He finished his first year of Pre-K there. His second year of Pre-K was begun in Tennessee before we moved back to El Paso.
It took some time and a lucky IEP meeting with the right people in attendance to get things going smoothly. So he started in EP in one school, after two months he was moved to a school that could accommodate his mild hearing loss. He was fortunate enough to stay at that school with the same group of educators until the beginning of his first grade year. And you guessed it, we moved again.
This time my husband was heading to Korea and us to Tennessee. I began calling the Board of Education in my County in April. I made them communicate with me. I gave them a reprieve during the summer, but August 1st I was back on them. I needed to know for a fact that going from this school for the hearing impaired to an all inclusive classroom was going to be the best move for him. It wasn't like I had much choice, we were going either way. My name was known before I ever stepped into the school that September.
They turned out being so sweet and loving and kind. It ended up being one of the most positive moves yet. He was embraced and encouraged to grow. His personality began to blossom. He was becoming more conversational. It was becoming easier for him to be understood and to express himself. I knew our time at this school would be short. I knew that we would move shortly after he began second grade. It was a heart wrenching thought, but it was what we must do next.
I tried once to call the school I was fairly certain he would attend should we move to New York. I was frustrated when I was transferred to four different administrators and none could answer my questions. I arrived ready to do battle.
I had everything in hand that I would need. I marched into the school Registrars office and I laid it all out. Upon finding out that my son would need an IEP to ride the special needs bus, I nearly flipped a lid. In both EP and Tennessee it was just standard, he had hearing loss and rode the special needs bus. Now I must wait for an IEP meeting here and hope that they will see he needs at least an Aide on the bus if nothing else. I was relieved to find out that his bus would only carry the smaller kids from Kindergarten to Third grade. I agreed to give it a try. I am praying that tomorrow goes smoothly and that he will be the strong little boy I know he can be.
Why am I concerned? This is my easily overwhelmed little boy. The same little boy that is currently awaiting an evaluation to see if he has Sensory Processing Disorder. Something in my heart of hearts I am sure is to be the case.
I arrived at his elementary school once again ready for battle. My husband told me to take it easy on them. To listen with an open mind and know that some change is good for kids. Even kids like our little boy. He assured me once we left that I was rude in the beginning. That I talked to loudly and that I was expecting them to be the same as past schools. This of course is not something that can happen. I tried to be nice. I tried so hard. I mentioned my issues with the bus no less than fifty times. I repeated over and over that he wears hearing aides. That he is easily overwhelmed. In the end I think they realized that I was not one to be reckoned with. That I was agreeing to try, but should one thing not go according to the way I envision it should, then I will be on the phone or in the office.
They are correct.
He will ride this bus. He will be in a regular classroom with hopefully the modifier microphone system. We met his class, none had hearing aides or glasses.
This regular classroom deal isn't high on my list of positive outcomes. I didn't even get to meet the teacher today. Probably a good thing as she may have lived in fear of my return. Should we have issues in this classroom, he could possible be moved to a different setting more closely aligned with an all inclusive classroom.
My husband assured me that this is all going to work out. That I should let our son walk on his own. Push him a little closer to the edge of the nest. He reminds me that I won't always be around and I need to ensure he is okay when I am not around.
I'm praying for this situation. I am praying for my little guy.
October 20, 2016
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