At 4 am I hear my daughter talking, I hear her singing mermaid doll and as I roll out of bed to see what is going on I am praying this is not going to be her actual waking up time.
Lucky me she did accept some water and went back to sleep. As I was walking back to my room I thought I heard my son stirring, but I ignored that and crawled back into my bed.
I slowly crawl out of my bed again at 6:30 to the light popping on and my daughter telling me to wake up. Then my son is up. Getting them ready for the day was challenging.
I was tired and my muscles were sore from the previous day's gym workout. I wanted coffee...Badly. The kids were laughing, and playing and LOUD.
I said a little thank you prayer to God for my happy healthy alert kids. Then I chugged a cup of coffee. Al the while I am thinking, never put them to bed at 8:30 p.m. again, 9 is much better, they are slower in the morning when they go to bed later.
Today's goal was to get my son to school, my daughter and I back to the gym so I could do the Zumba class at 8:30.
We made it out of the house right on schedule, and just as we are getting the trip underway, my daughter sneezes. I had to pull over to wipe the long snot trail from her nose down to her lap, it was rather disgusting.
Drop off went well, no melt downs from my daughter. We made it from the school to the gym and I hit the track for about 15 minutes.
My upper legs are really burning today. The burning is so bad that I can barely get into and out of our little car. The same goes for the couch. It is sad.
Zumba went better than expected. I was lost through many of the moves, I felt I was rocking on some, especially if they involved booty shaking. The music was awesome, and I loved the oldies!
I could feel my stomach trying to reject my bowl of cereal. I realized that one 16 oz. bottle of water was not nearly enough.
Sweat was nearly flying off of me!
And then I picked up my daughter we came home and I had to run to the store and while there I bought a fresh and extremely yummy jumbo pretzel. It was DIVINE!! I enjoyed every last bite. To atone for that, I came home and sautéed some spinach, then after getting my daughter settled I took a nap.
The trends I am noticing since beginning my fitness journey on Monday are I am really loving afternoon naps, and I still manage to be tired enough at night to go to bed early.
After getting my son from school and cooking a light chicken and carrot dinner for the kids and I, it was off to round two of Zumba.
This time I had a friend to go with. This class had even more complicated moves that left me hopelessly lost and making up my own. I laughed at myself, I said many bad words under my breath. I shook my booty with everything that I had. I tried to look like I knew what was going on, that I was young, even though I was in the older ladies section. I was determined to be fun while having fun that was making my body move in fun ways that it hadn't done in years.
Now had I a beer or two or three all of those moves would have been much easier and at one point I was thinking "Wow, I really need a shot!" I used to be a badass dancer, well I thought I was because I was in a bar and I was inebriated and when you are the only person dancing of course everyone is staring at you and yes it does go to your head and make you think you are BEAUTIFUL. But this was not the case tonight. I just looked old and slow and out of sync and very possibly crazy.
I laughed at myself, stayed clear of the mirror, and drank an entire 16 oz. bottle of water. My thighs were burning, squats were killing me. Sweat was soaking my clothes and my shirt that was somehow tighter than I remembered was sticking to my overly round belly.
And when it was time to stretch you better believe I belted out the lyrics to Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" I even added some hip movement to my stretches.
The bottom line is that one day I will be sexy again. I am going to get my sexy back! I can see my curves in the mirror, they are just jiggly curves with an extra rounded ball looking area on the front.
I came back home and as soon as kids were showered I jumped in myself. First shower today and it was HEAVENLY! Until my daughter came in letting all of the steam out and asking if I was okay, because I really was OKAY, until you let all the steam out. I love you princess, I really do, but please let me finish this shower in peace.
So here I am at day four. My thighs are on fire, I can feel my stomach muscles cringing when I steer the car, and it was even worse in the van. I feel so hungry, which I need to eat the fruit I bought the other day, but there are some other less healthy options that seem to be far more appealing. I am exhausted, but on the inside I feel bubbly. I know that I can and will do this!
For every bad word that is pushed out of my mouth from all the crunches, there are other thoughts that scream "Squash that belly fat" or "Tighten up those muscles" yes, I have a dialog running through my head each and every moment. It tells me to keep up, get with program, and yes you can do this and no you are not dying and yes you do look like an old lady when you can't roll up off the floor like everyone else.
But I always make sure that I thank God for the ability and the means to be at that gym each and every day that I choose to torture myself.
And when my husband gets back on this side of the world, maybe, just maybe I will be sexy and able to run and work out and we can begin another journey together. And who knows I just might be an inspiration to stay at home over tired too busy moms who never ever feel like working out. Or even better to my kids as an example that you can do this no matter how high the odds are stacked against you.
Did I mention I'm trying to potty train my daughter during all of this? Yea well I am and that is a story for another day as I am about to crash.
January 7 2016
1 Chronicles 16:11 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
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