Rolling Through The Motions

Today is a much cooler day, not so bad as yesterday, but cool.

I cannot complain! I won't complain! To be revealed at a much later date, I know where we are going! I know that a large part of the year it will be much colder than here. Yes, I am okay with this. I am because my family will be together and we will be on a new adventure. I try to cheer up my husband as he isn't as happy about this as I am. We shall prevail.

I took yesterday off from the gym. My oldest son came down.

Today I went to Zumba. I really got a jiggly full body workout! It was actually fun. I stayed focused on me and the instructor. Every ounce of might and muster and determination went into the moves. I was soaked in sweat by the end of the class. I am thankful for this opportunity to improve not only my body image but health. God is great and I pray that shines through me each and every day.

Later I will be taking three kids and Granddad to get my son's hearing aide molds. This will be an adventure all in itself. If we get back home without a moment of drama we will be doing good.

Today I woke up to my beautiful children and where the scale was giving me a higher number, today it was much lower. That made me very happy. I even got to see my sweet husband's face via video chat this morning, never mind that he was nagging at me about money spent.

I have begun to realize that I spend a lot of time behind the wheel. I drive to and from my son's school, I run errands, I get my daughter and son to speech therapy. I listen mostly to music and let my mind wander. On a good run the car is silent all but the radio. My thoughts run rampant and I am at ease. On a bad run I am fighting the overwhelming anxiety that is attempting to slow me down. Or kids are arguing or shouting or just loud. Where once driving was to wander back roads and the plaza for fun, now it is a means to get places. To actually get to a set destination not to say I was there, but to interact and have a purpose. So many years ago life was so carefree. It was just being cool. Now it is so much more complicated. It is comprised of others needs mixed into mine. It is responsibilities and needs. It is the necessity to be strong to get everyone somewhere and do it safely. It is to monitor the amount of miles and not to just wander aimlessly. Now the price of a gallon of gas truly matters and this is not a commodity to be wasted wandering around in order to be seen. When you come to the realization that you really are an adult, it is quite sobering. Nearing 40 has made me realize that I am no longer young, but youngish. I don't have a girlish figure, but that of a woman, and not just that of a woman, but one who has miles on her body. Each ache reminds me that I am no spring chicken, each jumping jack can be felt not just in my feet but all the way into my knees and it makes my internal organs feel as if they cannot hold onto their contents. But I do not feel old, just wiser. I do not want to loose the appearance of my youth, yet I want to share my experiences. I want to continue to be happy, and I want to show my kids the importance of finding your happiness. God is going to be with me every step of the way. He will show me how to be the Proverbs and Ephesians Wife and mother. The Older woman in Titus 2. Yes, first I must come out of the belly of the fish, and I think I am finding out how to do this.

February 25, 2016