I started our day bad.
Guilt is washing over me because I completely broke down before 8a.m. I nearly cried. I did a lot of yelling. Most of this was directed at my undeserving husband. He is such a calm individual. I love him for the rational way he looks at things. Even with his offers of help, I was still so upset. I was resistant to his help. I had it in my mind that I absolutely must go to the store this morning and that was adding to the crazy. I even threatened to just walk out and head home to TN. The crazy inside my head is trying to bust out. I am loosing any sense of sanity that I might have had. I struggle with change. I struggle with computers and anything computer related. I already walk a thin line between sanity and insanity and this is pushing me over the edge. I was so upset that my husband kept telling me to control myself. He is so right. But how am I supposed to control myself when these emotions are boiling over and making me crazy? My awesome husband once again talked me down with his calm demeanor and took one of our children to work with him. I know how hard he works. I know how stressful his job is and I know that for the next little bit his work load will increase. Somehow this awesome man gets up everyday and does his absolute best to be positive and put a positive spin on things. For me to let crazy out of the bag, it is completely unfair to him and to my children.
Now I am off to work on a Google slide project with my sweet son, wish me luck!
Morning class with my son went okay. Either the school is not teaching him how to research or he is not paying attention. We did the beginning research for his project that is coming up. Watching this child attempt to type by pecking at the keyboard is excruciating! Thankfully not as many emails today. I think we actually made progress. I hope we actually made progress anyway.
Worked with the kids in the afternoon. My son did the rest of his work and my daughter did several online videos.
Took my son to Aldis to stock up on baking, sandwich and veggie supplies, then a much needed Starbucks run. Once we arrived at the PX and walked through the door we were greeted by a Solider asking if we had a fever, had been sick, been around anyone sick or traveled where there were active cases. After the questions our hands were squirted with hand sanitizer. I found the cleaning supply section and was greeted by what I am sure is the scariest employee they could find to monitor those aisles. Not much for intimidation and being followed aisle to aisle I decided to head on over to pick up my daughter and get the kids lunch at the school.
We are now taking the afternoon off and enjoying the nice fresh air outside.
Ya'll keep your heads up. It is true we need to let the crazy out of the bag from time to time. Unfortunately that is an ugly process.
Friday, March 20, 2020
Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Day 4 Online learning
Thursday, you have not been so kind to me
Hurray! Online learning was official for my son today. The school district went live with their learning platform.
Can you say Confusing as Hell? It really shows that I am not computer savvy. All day I have been heard to say "Go back there, push that one, how do I go back to the other page? where is your email?" It has been a nightmare. I have called the school twice in near tears to calmly rage against the injustice of it all and they have been fabulous and outstanding. I also want to add that a child with special needs is not exactly cut out for all of this. I swear every five minutes he gets an email saying this has changed, this doesn't apply but this does. I know he is as lost as I am. I finally have what I think is a fairly concrete schedule, and I created him a little calendar with the virtual class times. I also gave him a folder with import paperwork we pulled off the Google Classroom site.
Now my poor little daughter. She is trying hard to work for me. But I am continually ask her to hold on, let me check on your brother. Where were we? I tried to make math a little fun. We used her multipliers and construction paper. She has been a real trooper with all the chaos.
I even managed to fit in a Zoom session with my Bible Study class. In all honesty this caused as much of a distraction as everything else. To begin with I had to download the zoom app, then figure out how to join, and finally how to mute myself. It was distracting to myself and my kids. I was hoping to listen while I assisted them, but that was far from the reality.
I still need to clean my house and do some laundry. I am thinking most of that will happen on the weekend. The kids will be pretty bummed about it, but we don't have much choice. Plus each one has a project that they will need to work on over the weekend.
Things to be thankful for today: I only have two little kids and only one of those is in a more in depth grade. My dogs are happy, my family is happy for the most part and healthy. We do have internet and we are getting a few things completed.
I won't lie and say that I did not loose my skittles, because I did a lot. I screamed into the air at the horrendous lack of understanding I have of all things computer. I railed at the nonstop stream of emails and text messages from the school and the post. I nearly cried when I could not get zoom to work or to find the link for my son's second Google meet. We did miss one because somehow in all of the time I was working with my daughter, and trying to read mails, and possibly checking FB I missed the email or link or whatever with the time of day.
I am extremely thankful that the school is offering free lunches. This gives us a chance to get out of the house go get food and never leave the car. Unfortunately I have to schedule time to get milk as we are nearing the end of a gallon. Tonight we will have an easy soup, this is something that will become a leftover and hopefully tomorrow will be much better.
We ended the day on a sour note. I let my stress at the situation guide my mood and when my stubborn 7 year old refused to cooperate, well I lost it. It was an ugly bout of screaming and many bad words. I felt awful after, and nothing can repair the damage caused by my instability. The truth of the matter is, I walk a fine line between sanity and insanity.
God Bless Y'all and may you succeed in all that you do
Hurray! Online learning was official for my son today. The school district went live with their learning platform.
Can you say Confusing as Hell? It really shows that I am not computer savvy. All day I have been heard to say "Go back there, push that one, how do I go back to the other page? where is your email?" It has been a nightmare. I have called the school twice in near tears to calmly rage against the injustice of it all and they have been fabulous and outstanding. I also want to add that a child with special needs is not exactly cut out for all of this. I swear every five minutes he gets an email saying this has changed, this doesn't apply but this does. I know he is as lost as I am. I finally have what I think is a fairly concrete schedule, and I created him a little calendar with the virtual class times. I also gave him a folder with import paperwork we pulled off the Google Classroom site.
Now my poor little daughter. She is trying hard to work for me. But I am continually ask her to hold on, let me check on your brother. Where were we? I tried to make math a little fun. We used her multipliers and construction paper. She has been a real trooper with all the chaos.
I even managed to fit in a Zoom session with my Bible Study class. In all honesty this caused as much of a distraction as everything else. To begin with I had to download the zoom app, then figure out how to join, and finally how to mute myself. It was distracting to myself and my kids. I was hoping to listen while I assisted them, but that was far from the reality.
I still need to clean my house and do some laundry. I am thinking most of that will happen on the weekend. The kids will be pretty bummed about it, but we don't have much choice. Plus each one has a project that they will need to work on over the weekend.
Things to be thankful for today: I only have two little kids and only one of those is in a more in depth grade. My dogs are happy, my family is happy for the most part and healthy. We do have internet and we are getting a few things completed.
I won't lie and say that I did not loose my skittles, because I did a lot. I screamed into the air at the horrendous lack of understanding I have of all things computer. I railed at the nonstop stream of emails and text messages from the school and the post. I nearly cried when I could not get zoom to work or to find the link for my son's second Google meet. We did miss one because somehow in all of the time I was working with my daughter, and trying to read mails, and possibly checking FB I missed the email or link or whatever with the time of day.
I am extremely thankful that the school is offering free lunches. This gives us a chance to get out of the house go get food and never leave the car. Unfortunately I have to schedule time to get milk as we are nearing the end of a gallon. Tonight we will have an easy soup, this is something that will become a leftover and hopefully tomorrow will be much better.
We ended the day on a sour note. I let my stress at the situation guide my mood and when my stubborn 7 year old refused to cooperate, well I lost it. It was an ugly bout of screaming and many bad words. I felt awful after, and nothing can repair the damage caused by my instability. The truth of the matter is, I walk a fine line between sanity and insanity.
God Bless Y'all and may you succeed in all that you do
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Day 3
For a Wednesday it wasn't half bad. My daughter dubbed today Wacky Wednesday due to the rain that was intermittent and then heavier on one side of the post than the other. A few minutes later it was sunny, but not for long.
My husband once again helped our daughter accomplish much of her morning math problems. We have one week's worth done. That for me is a huge success!. I feel fairly confident that my son is ready to go for his online school. For the most part it is set up and ready to go.
Today's only mishap was a schedule miscommunication with the husband. He mistakenly thought I would just be at home. Unfortunately, I had to drop off the hearing aide boots to my son's school at just about the same time the husband wanted us to see him reenlist. He got the time changed. I let the kids have a teeny bit of free time and just when I am combing everyone's hair, I receive a call from my husband asking me to buy a dozen donuts on the way. We begin the mad dash scramble out the door and to the donut place. Naturally the donut place had no donuts. I ran next doo to the gas station and bought donuts. The reenlistment went well, and I was beyond proud of my husband.
My husband decided to reenlist during a time when the world is chaos. We are in a grey area right now and still he made this decision. I am extremely proud of all he has accomplished and all that he has yet to accomplish.
I decided to actually brave the commissary today. To park my van, get the kids and walk inside. We did it too. We were only able to buy two packages of chicken. This was okay for me as I only wanted something small to eat when things at my house are far from this new normal. Because you see, while the world is grinding to a halt, many parts of our existence are not grinding to a halt. The kids and I must still watch my husband get dressed, eat with us, and drive off to his place of duty. I took a few brief moments to explain to my kids that their Dad is sort of on stand by because he might be called upon to go away. We don't know. It is how it always is. This is something we have grown used to. We watch the rest of the world struggle with canceled plans, disrupted vacations, and so much more. We not in sympathy and realize that our already complicated lives might get just a little more complicated.
The schools on post were handing out sack lunches. Since we were out, I took the kids to get theirs. What a blessing when we looked inside to see enough food to share with my husband. So we went back to his work and sat in chairs around his desk and ate a sandwich. Now I painted this as a pretty picture, but let me just tell you the reality. The reality is that after the commissary on the way to the school my son began to meltdown. He thrives on routine and for him home is supposed to be his down time. At the point we got the food he really wanted to go home, but my daughter really wanted to share with her Dad. So as we are driving across post my son is in the back whining. I mean almost dog howling whining. He was in tears by the time we arrived and he stood away from all of us sulking. He couldn't talk without tears. He was done. My heart breaks for him because I know how hard this transition is for him. I know that he will thrive on getting to stay home, but the having to do school work will bring him down.
Overall it was a truly good day. I did have a headache for most of it. I also tried to distance myself a bit more from fb and text messages. I posted on my fb that from 8 until 2:30 that I am unavailable for phone calls and text messages will be answered as I can. I need to focus on the school work. I need to focus on my mental health and that of my kids. I cannot control what is going on outside of my doors, but I can control what is going on inside of my house. I will also not be making any trips out during that time frame. I am hoping the weather turns nice again and we can walk our little Chihuahuas or ride our bikes.
Be blessed and know that hump day is done.
My husband once again helped our daughter accomplish much of her morning math problems. We have one week's worth done. That for me is a huge success!. I feel fairly confident that my son is ready to go for his online school. For the most part it is set up and ready to go.
Today's only mishap was a schedule miscommunication with the husband. He mistakenly thought I would just be at home. Unfortunately, I had to drop off the hearing aide boots to my son's school at just about the same time the husband wanted us to see him reenlist. He got the time changed. I let the kids have a teeny bit of free time and just when I am combing everyone's hair, I receive a call from my husband asking me to buy a dozen donuts on the way. We begin the mad dash scramble out the door and to the donut place. Naturally the donut place had no donuts. I ran next doo to the gas station and bought donuts. The reenlistment went well, and I was beyond proud of my husband.
My husband decided to reenlist during a time when the world is chaos. We are in a grey area right now and still he made this decision. I am extremely proud of all he has accomplished and all that he has yet to accomplish.
I decided to actually brave the commissary today. To park my van, get the kids and walk inside. We did it too. We were only able to buy two packages of chicken. This was okay for me as I only wanted something small to eat when things at my house are far from this new normal. Because you see, while the world is grinding to a halt, many parts of our existence are not grinding to a halt. The kids and I must still watch my husband get dressed, eat with us, and drive off to his place of duty. I took a few brief moments to explain to my kids that their Dad is sort of on stand by because he might be called upon to go away. We don't know. It is how it always is. This is something we have grown used to. We watch the rest of the world struggle with canceled plans, disrupted vacations, and so much more. We not in sympathy and realize that our already complicated lives might get just a little more complicated.
The schools on post were handing out sack lunches. Since we were out, I took the kids to get theirs. What a blessing when we looked inside to see enough food to share with my husband. So we went back to his work and sat in chairs around his desk and ate a sandwich. Now I painted this as a pretty picture, but let me just tell you the reality. The reality is that after the commissary on the way to the school my son began to meltdown. He thrives on routine and for him home is supposed to be his down time. At the point we got the food he really wanted to go home, but my daughter really wanted to share with her Dad. So as we are driving across post my son is in the back whining. I mean almost dog howling whining. He was in tears by the time we arrived and he stood away from all of us sulking. He couldn't talk without tears. He was done. My heart breaks for him because I know how hard this transition is for him. I know that he will thrive on getting to stay home, but the having to do school work will bring him down.
Overall it was a truly good day. I did have a headache for most of it. I also tried to distance myself a bit more from fb and text messages. I posted on my fb that from 8 until 2:30 that I am unavailable for phone calls and text messages will be answered as I can. I need to focus on the school work. I need to focus on my mental health and that of my kids. I cannot control what is going on outside of my doors, but I can control what is going on inside of my house. I will also not be making any trips out during that time frame. I am hoping the weather turns nice again and we can walk our little Chihuahuas or ride our bikes.
Be blessed and know that hump day is done.
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Chronicals of a not so Ordinary Mom: Day 2
Tuesday
I woke up by 6:15a.m. Hubby had already headed off to his morning PT. I sat in my bed counting down the minutes until I needed to be in the shower. I wanted to watch the morning news. It was the same panic as the last month.
By 7:30 the husband is coming in the door. Thankfully his car alarm alerted me to the fact the kids were still sleeping. I get my son up with very little issues. He heads out to the kitchen for his daily yogurt. Sleeping Beauty is still under the blankets despite a lamp and curtains thrown wide. I start breakfast and she stumbles into the kitchen dressed but not really awake. Somehow hubby ends up cooking his own food.
It's a new day and I am ready, well as ready as a non-homeschooling mom can be at the prospect of having kids at home all day. My husband decides he will take our son to his work. I am thankful, but secretly sad, as I was actually hoping he would take our daughter.
I need to get my son's fundraiser products ordered, and I set her up with a Spanish YouTube video session. This of course is not related to anything that her teacher sent home, I just needed her to be distracted. Two minutes into it she is board. Somehow I end up wasting nearly an hour on that and the time to retrieve my son is nearing. We Have Done Nothing! I set her down to work on her sentences with spelling words. I make her lunch, so about ten minutes later I come back and she has done two sentences out of the eight she needs to do. We somehow get the sentences done, and leave the house.
Away we go to pick up my son take him to his school and check out a Chrome book. Wow, the school has some nice computers! I find out that much of his classwork will be online. I walk out of the school feeling even more defeated.
Back home where I let the kids eat a snack and watch videos about Saint Patrick's Day. Wow, it was established in 1798! I get my daughter started on videos for one of her Google Classrooms and then figure out how to get my son's Chromebook on my network. Done, and naturally I cannot figure out how to get it to print.
I have a facebook meltdown where I basically verbally cry my eyes out to the PTO thread. I express my inability to be a teacher, to grasp common core, to be nice and I cry because I don't have enough junk food in the house to eat my feelings.
I'm still upset I only bought a chocolate bar at the gas station instead of a bottle of wine. I am thinking how nice a Jack and Coke would taste right about now. I want to quit, yet I want to succeed. I want my life back, I know I should be happy to have my kids at home around me, but then that requires effort and brain power and most days I am merely getting by.
I sense my anxiety getting higher by the minute. Impulse control is harder for me when I am stressed out. I have worked so hard since January to loose that one pound. I am lost and it will take until just about when the kids go to school again to get comfortable with where I am now.
God Bless Ya'll We made it to Tuesday!
I woke up by 6:15a.m. Hubby had already headed off to his morning PT. I sat in my bed counting down the minutes until I needed to be in the shower. I wanted to watch the morning news. It was the same panic as the last month.
By 7:30 the husband is coming in the door. Thankfully his car alarm alerted me to the fact the kids were still sleeping. I get my son up with very little issues. He heads out to the kitchen for his daily yogurt. Sleeping Beauty is still under the blankets despite a lamp and curtains thrown wide. I start breakfast and she stumbles into the kitchen dressed but not really awake. Somehow hubby ends up cooking his own food.
It's a new day and I am ready, well as ready as a non-homeschooling mom can be at the prospect of having kids at home all day. My husband decides he will take our son to his work. I am thankful, but secretly sad, as I was actually hoping he would take our daughter.
I need to get my son's fundraiser products ordered, and I set her up with a Spanish YouTube video session. This of course is not related to anything that her teacher sent home, I just needed her to be distracted. Two minutes into it she is board. Somehow I end up wasting nearly an hour on that and the time to retrieve my son is nearing. We Have Done Nothing! I set her down to work on her sentences with spelling words. I make her lunch, so about ten minutes later I come back and she has done two sentences out of the eight she needs to do. We somehow get the sentences done, and leave the house.
Away we go to pick up my son take him to his school and check out a Chrome book. Wow, the school has some nice computers! I find out that much of his classwork will be online. I walk out of the school feeling even more defeated.
Back home where I let the kids eat a snack and watch videos about Saint Patrick's Day. Wow, it was established in 1798! I get my daughter started on videos for one of her Google Classrooms and then figure out how to get my son's Chromebook on my network. Done, and naturally I cannot figure out how to get it to print.
I have a facebook meltdown where I basically verbally cry my eyes out to the PTO thread. I express my inability to be a teacher, to grasp common core, to be nice and I cry because I don't have enough junk food in the house to eat my feelings.
I'm still upset I only bought a chocolate bar at the gas station instead of a bottle of wine. I am thinking how nice a Jack and Coke would taste right about now. I want to quit, yet I want to succeed. I want my life back, I know I should be happy to have my kids at home around me, but then that requires effort and brain power and most days I am merely getting by.
I sense my anxiety getting higher by the minute. Impulse control is harder for me when I am stressed out. I have worked so hard since January to loose that one pound. I am lost and it will take until just about when the kids go to school again to get comfortable with where I am now.
God Bless Ya'll We made it to Tuesday!
Chronicals of a not so Ordinary Mom: Day 1
Monday, as if that is not bad enough, this one happens to be a three day weekend for my husband.
Of course our schedules say we will be up, dressed, beds made and breakfast done and over by 8:30 a.m.
That did not happen. I woke up closer to 9 the husband after me. We got everyone fed, and we started strong on school work, well for one kid. She made great progress on one worksheet. Somehow in all the time we spent looking over her school work, figuring out Google Classroom, and eating lunch, it was nearly go time for an appointment.
I am not quite sure what to make of Google Classroom. Yes, it is quite fascinating. I can see how it will be an added bonus. I cannot see how it fits neatly into my poster board schedule.
I will embrace the crazy of this. I will try not cry each time I open one of the three folders I received from my daughter's school.
I promise on this day I only lost my skittles twice. Once was during breakfast when I was asking my son questions. I think I speak a different language than a 10 year old does, because he could not understand anything I asked. "How do you log in at school?" "Does it look like this?" "So and So said they are already working on something where is yours?" Bet you can't guess the answer that I received..... "I don't know" Ha ha you did guess it!.
The second time it was the second grade common core that got me. I see a lot of confusion when I look at the math folder. I also asked my second grader questions and she was even more confused than my son. I started to loose it. My husband stepped in and said "Don't worry guys, we all know mommy is a little crazy, don't let her scare you" He also told the dogs that he was sorry I was so scary.
I ended up in the bathroom almost in tears because I know my limits. I know I have a low tolerance for what I deem bull crap. I like to see results, I get impatient. I struggle to explain myself multiple times. Tears and I am done. I am thinking of all of the things I will need to be doing. Will there be time for me? Yes, I am so selfish!
Our appointment was a bit of a waste of time. My son will need some work done on his feet, but no surgeries can be scheduled right now. We did learn from his X Rays that he is full of poop and gas. Then we went in search of food.
Food at restaurants is only take out now. We found a taco shop in a Mexican Grocery. And wouldn't you know there was not bread or cleaning supplies to be found there either. Since we were an hour from home, we took the tacos out to our minivan, cranked up the heat and turned on the DVD player. The kids thought this was super fun. Mom and Dad thought it was okay.
It was disheartening for me. I was also deeply saddened to see all of the restaurants that are normally busy at 5pm empty. I was thinking of all the people who are going home early from these jobs, or who may not have a job until this madness ends. I was thinking of the economy. I prayed hard for all those affected by this world wide.
Stay Tuned for Tuesday's adventure!
Of course our schedules say we will be up, dressed, beds made and breakfast done and over by 8:30 a.m.
That did not happen. I woke up closer to 9 the husband after me. We got everyone fed, and we started strong on school work, well for one kid. She made great progress on one worksheet. Somehow in all the time we spent looking over her school work, figuring out Google Classroom, and eating lunch, it was nearly go time for an appointment.
I am not quite sure what to make of Google Classroom. Yes, it is quite fascinating. I can see how it will be an added bonus. I cannot see how it fits neatly into my poster board schedule.
I will embrace the crazy of this. I will try not cry each time I open one of the three folders I received from my daughter's school.
I promise on this day I only lost my skittles twice. Once was during breakfast when I was asking my son questions. I think I speak a different language than a 10 year old does, because he could not understand anything I asked. "How do you log in at school?" "Does it look like this?" "So and So said they are already working on something where is yours?" Bet you can't guess the answer that I received..... "I don't know" Ha ha you did guess it!.
The second time it was the second grade common core that got me. I see a lot of confusion when I look at the math folder. I also asked my second grader questions and she was even more confused than my son. I started to loose it. My husband stepped in and said "Don't worry guys, we all know mommy is a little crazy, don't let her scare you" He also told the dogs that he was sorry I was so scary.
I ended up in the bathroom almost in tears because I know my limits. I know I have a low tolerance for what I deem bull crap. I like to see results, I get impatient. I struggle to explain myself multiple times. Tears and I am done. I am thinking of all of the things I will need to be doing. Will there be time for me? Yes, I am so selfish!
Our appointment was a bit of a waste of time. My son will need some work done on his feet, but no surgeries can be scheduled right now. We did learn from his X Rays that he is full of poop and gas. Then we went in search of food.
Food at restaurants is only take out now. We found a taco shop in a Mexican Grocery. And wouldn't you know there was not bread or cleaning supplies to be found there either. Since we were an hour from home, we took the tacos out to our minivan, cranked up the heat and turned on the DVD player. The kids thought this was super fun. Mom and Dad thought it was okay.
It was disheartening for me. I was also deeply saddened to see all of the restaurants that are normally busy at 5pm empty. I was thinking of all the people who are going home early from these jobs, or who may not have a job until this madness ends. I was thinking of the economy. I prayed hard for all those affected by this world wide.
Stay Tuned for Tuesday's adventure!
Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Quarintine
Let's go back a few days, a weekend's worth of days. The setting is Friday March 13, 2020.
We have all been watching the news, the ever spreading panic of the dreaded Covid-19. Toilet paper, cleaning products, and now groceries are becoming scarce. Pictures emerge of the craziness in each of the stores Around The Nation, sorry, the World.
It's bad
Most people will agree on that, but I am not here to debate how bad or over-hyped. I am here to share my daily struggles as I begin to deal with a temporary new normal.
On that normal Friday, kids are home and I am pretending the news is not blowing up with which state has cancelled school. I am pretending that I did not visit three stores only to find no toilet paper outside of the one package of 12 that I scored. I got my water, I got my food, but I did not buy stuff to feed my kids at home for an indefinite amount of time.
And FB blows up. Denial. It does not work. Emails rolling in. We Have NO SCHOOL. NONE for three weeks! THREE WEEKS! And just like that I become the home school mom I never wanted to be. The schools will send lessons home via the internet.
I slowly begin to freak out. Ever so slowly.
By Sunday reality is sinking in. I want to cry. I want to scream. I really want my husband to hug me and tell me it is a horrible dream. He does not do that. Instead he tells me to get a grip. Well not like that, more gently, but still.
I have been blessed with an amazing teacher for my second grader. She agreed to meet us on the military installation that we live on and (kids go to school on) and bring the lessons. She went all out. So organized and laminated work guides. I mean as I stood there listening to her explain what we were looking out I felt the fear sink in. I knew in that moment that I am not cut out for this next adventure.
My Amazing husband helped me work out schedules for the kids. They are realistic. They are within my range of capabilities.
We have all been watching the news, the ever spreading panic of the dreaded Covid-19. Toilet paper, cleaning products, and now groceries are becoming scarce. Pictures emerge of the craziness in each of the stores Around The Nation, sorry, the World.
It's bad
Most people will agree on that, but I am not here to debate how bad or over-hyped. I am here to share my daily struggles as I begin to deal with a temporary new normal.
On that normal Friday, kids are home and I am pretending the news is not blowing up with which state has cancelled school. I am pretending that I did not visit three stores only to find no toilet paper outside of the one package of 12 that I scored. I got my water, I got my food, but I did not buy stuff to feed my kids at home for an indefinite amount of time.
And FB blows up. Denial. It does not work. Emails rolling in. We Have NO SCHOOL. NONE for three weeks! THREE WEEKS! And just like that I become the home school mom I never wanted to be. The schools will send lessons home via the internet.
I slowly begin to freak out. Ever so slowly.
By Sunday reality is sinking in. I want to cry. I want to scream. I really want my husband to hug me and tell me it is a horrible dream. He does not do that. Instead he tells me to get a grip. Well not like that, more gently, but still.
I have been blessed with an amazing teacher for my second grader. She agreed to meet us on the military installation that we live on and (kids go to school on) and bring the lessons. She went all out. So organized and laminated work guides. I mean as I stood there listening to her explain what we were looking out I felt the fear sink in. I knew in that moment that I am not cut out for this next adventure.
My Amazing husband helped me work out schedules for the kids. They are realistic. They are within my range of capabilities.
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Christmas Spirit
Through the PTO I found my Christmas Spirit. I spent much of November and December at the Intermediate School and the Elementary schools that my kids attend.
I watched the kids, the teachers, fellow volunteer moms come in smiling and wearing their Christmas gear. Slowly my mind, then my heart opened up to the idea of actually enjoying Christmas.
This was amazing for me. Previous years I had struggled to muddle through the holiday season. The baking a chore, the decorating pure torture. But this year was different. I wanted to participate. I wanted to dress the part.
I admit, it took a little convincing for me to get my Christmas Tree up before Thanksgiving. And I did, the Monday before we left to travel home for the holiday. I pulled it out of the box only after setting my playlist to Christmas songs. I was in my zone. Then momentary tragedy struck as I was unable to figure out how to get my pre-lit tree to light up. Over an hour later when I am near to tears and ranting on fb, my husband comes home. For him it had been a long day, but still he pulled that tree apart studying each part, and looking over the box. Finally he asks me where the rest of the lights were and through that patience, we figured out that the lights were indeed there, just in the other box.
The next day I began again, a fresh start, well intent on success through my playlist. My kids were eager to join in and we made it happen.
I was quite impressed with my tree. I was actually happy with it. Something I did not feel in 2017 or 2018. Two years! It had really been 2 years since I was happy with my Christmas tree.
As the weeks passed by, I would just sit and stare at my tree and feel tranquil. I even bought a Christmas T shirt, a first for me in a long time. I added a few new ornaments and decorations to my collection.
Now that it is time to roll into the new year, I am ready. My ornaments are all packed away. I organized them according to color. I took great care to pack them up well. While doing this, I realized that this was the first year in awhile that I actually cared how they were packed up. My wonderful husband even agreed to let me buy a second tree, and finally I will have my long dreamed of white Christmas tree. I even purchased four sets of brand new shatter proof ornaments. I find myself ready for the new year, and ready to decorate my two trees.
I have also discovered a new passion of collecting red birds. My husband even commented on this odd new obsession when we at the local big box store and I am trying to hurriedly scan two red bird ornaments that were not on the grocery list. I am sure this is due to my own mother's love of ceramic red birds and my desire to keep her memory close as the years roll on without her.
Happy New Year Everyone!
in memory of Carol L Smithson Rhodes (my dearly departed mom)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)