Tuesday
I woke up by 6:15a.m. Hubby had already headed off to his morning PT. I sat in my bed counting down the minutes until I needed to be in the shower. I wanted to watch the morning news. It was the same panic as the last month.
By 7:30 the husband is coming in the door. Thankfully his car alarm alerted me to the fact the kids were still sleeping. I get my son up with very little issues. He heads out to the kitchen for his daily yogurt. Sleeping Beauty is still under the blankets despite a lamp and curtains thrown wide. I start breakfast and she stumbles into the kitchen dressed but not really awake. Somehow hubby ends up cooking his own food.
It's a new day and I am ready, well as ready as a non-homeschooling mom can be at the prospect of having kids at home all day. My husband decides he will take our son to his work. I am thankful, but secretly sad, as I was actually hoping he would take our daughter.
I need to get my son's fundraiser products ordered, and I set her up with a Spanish YouTube video session. This of course is not related to anything that her teacher sent home, I just needed her to be distracted. Two minutes into it she is board. Somehow I end up wasting nearly an hour on that and the time to retrieve my son is nearing. We Have Done Nothing! I set her down to work on her sentences with spelling words. I make her lunch, so about ten minutes later I come back and she has done two sentences out of the eight she needs to do. We somehow get the sentences done, and leave the house.
Away we go to pick up my son take him to his school and check out a Chrome book. Wow, the school has some nice computers! I find out that much of his classwork will be online. I walk out of the school feeling even more defeated.
Back home where I let the kids eat a snack and watch videos about Saint Patrick's Day. Wow, it was established in 1798! I get my daughter started on videos for one of her Google Classrooms and then figure out how to get my son's Chromebook on my network. Done, and naturally I cannot figure out how to get it to print.
I have a facebook meltdown where I basically verbally cry my eyes out to the PTO thread. I express my inability to be a teacher, to grasp common core, to be nice and I cry because I don't have enough junk food in the house to eat my feelings.
I'm still upset I only bought a chocolate bar at the gas station instead of a bottle of wine. I am thinking how nice a Jack and Coke would taste right about now. I want to quit, yet I want to succeed. I want my life back, I know I should be happy to have my kids at home around me, but then that requires effort and brain power and most days I am merely getting by.
I sense my anxiety getting higher by the minute. Impulse control is harder for me when I am stressed out. I have worked so hard since January to loose that one pound. I am lost and it will take until just about when the kids go to school again to get comfortable with where I am now.
God Bless Ya'll We made it to Tuesday!
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