Confessions From an OCD Military Spouse: Anticipation

 On this rainy day in October, I sit at my table with my brain flooded with checklists. 

Checklist one: Get kids started on school today this one is full of all the things I hope we get covered. It also includes a vivid mental image of me getting soaked while picking up the lunches provided by the school.

Checklist Two: Use this few minutes of quiet to answer and send all emails. 

Checklist Three: Virtual meeting to go over platform for online class I will be teaching in a WEEK!

Checklist Four: I really should prepare for said class.

Checklist Five: This is really full and has more of an outline format. Pack up more stuff. What can I pack that we won't miss for nearly two months? Should I turn in 30 day notice on the fence? Do I have enough boxes? When do I start on the kids room? Should I pack more of our clothes? 

I already have a significant portion of our house packed. I began packing way back in September. I waited until my husband started the class that would line us up for this move. I have tried to pack in such a way that it does not affect our functionality as a family. I mean who needs pictures on the wall? 

Now I bet by now you are wondering why I am even packing? Doesn't the Military move us? Of course it does. They also like to damage our belongings and lose things like sleds. But really when the sleds didn't arrive with us here in Kentucky, it was like, okay not such a bad thing. But now, two years later, I am still stewing over those sleds. We are now moving to a snowy state and boy would those sleds come in handy. 

This move we are doing ourselves. This will be us, well me, packing everything. This will be us loading the truck, unloading the truck. This will be a huge move, for only a mere six hours away. 

I want to be prepared. 

I want to have time to go to Tennessee and  visit my family.

Mentally I mapped this all out months ago. Pack early, take the week of Thanksgiving off from school and go home. Do a combined Christmas/Thanksgiving. Give hugs, feel sad, say see ya later and come home. 

Let the crazy begin immediately after. 

Pick up truck that has yet to be scheduled, pack said truck, clear housing and move away. 

Good bye Kentucky, we are off to snowy adventures, not in New Jersey like we were led to believe for weeks. Well, in reality only about two weeks. Hey it is Army life, and everything changes at a moments notice. 

I am stressed to the max

I am trying to remain calm all while facing the many scenarios that an upcoming Military move can throw at you. 

And this time we much find a house. It looks like we won't be renting, but instead buying. So guess what? 

If you guessed that this means another checklist, then you are correct. 

It comes in right under "How to plan a birthday party during Covid" And guess what? That is not going so well. We have settled on having close friends drive by at an appointed time hand them a bag of candy, and calling it a day. We are planning to go a little bigger on gifts to make up for the lack of celebration. I will make cupcakes with the birthday girl and we will celebrate at home as a family. That is what matters the most. 

The rest of the crazy can remain outside, or on a minimized window inside of my brain. 

At the end of the day, we will conquer this upcoming move. We will go over any obstacles that present themselves. I will pray hard that it does not snow as we make our way due North. 

Confessions of a Not so Ordinary Mom: The first 38 Days

 We survived! Or should I say that I survived?

38 LONG days of teaching, learning, overcoming, becoming. The list goes on. 

I have learned, no I am still learning, how to make this all work. How to help each child reach their full potential. 

There have been days of not much getting done, to days of getting it all done. 

Math, now that is a difficult one. I am not a great mathematician. In fact, for me the struggle is real. Were it not for the answer guides, I might not be able to do it at all. Here is the girl who barely passed ninth grade due to failing math, teaching math to her kids. WOW! Thankfully we have my husband who humbly declines the "Math whiz" title. He tutors each of us and helps me out, so that I too can become more proficient. For these kids, I have learned that my daughter is better at math than I thought she was. On the days her little brain is ready to go, she can zip right through one or two lessons. For my son, the struggle is real. I often look across the table at him and wonder how the teachers ever thought he was great at Math. Yes, some areas he is great and so many more he needs guidance and patience and several days to master what is on the page before him.

I am enjoying Language Arts. I love the curriculum we chose for the kids. The ease of use, the amount of handwriting practice, and the art to study within the lessons. Adding in Geography at just the right amount. I see how my kids take to it. Gasping at writing sentences, at getting red ink reminders for punctuation and capitalization. I have yet to write a serious grade in my planner, as I am still figuring out how to grade on Language Arts. They cringe each time I ask them to write names and date at the top of a page. "Neatly" I repeat all day long. "Make it legible" is my other mantra. 

Marine Biology has been a fun breeze for us. Little reading, some gluing together worksheets and a lot of informational videos. YouTube is an amazing resource. Our Marine Biology studies are drawing to a close, and I am working on a small test. 

History Year One has lost me. The study of Egypt was dry and it did not hit on the highlights. The Romans were mentioned in passing. Instead it focused a lot on the Bible. I do think this is good, but for history it was not exactly what I had in mind. We shall muddle through and hope for the best. Next up, a small paper on what they have learned. I hope they can remember it. 

I have both kids working on Spelling. My son right at grade level and my daughter below grade level. Spelling is teaching my son how to see the words and look them up for the meaning. After this, he should be able to place it in the correct usage sentence. I think this is one area he wishes he could skip. I am proud of him for working hard at each weeks lessons and even doing okay on the spelling tests. For my daughter, these small four letter words are perfect for her. They encourage confidence while reinforcing the basics. She has blossomed as a reader since we began distance learning in March. I get to take credit for this progress. I have sat by her and pushed her and slowly she is becoming a little reader. Now to get her to read books for fun. 

Spanish has not been happening like I was hoping it would. I am not fluent and I feel lost on how to teach it. I have done well teaching Hispanic Heritage Month. We have learned about many Hispanic Leaders in the U.S. that have helped shaped the country. So many interesting people that I knew nothing about. I know that right now they are young, and that most of this will just be something they heard, but it is my hope it will stick. We even covered 9/11. I am adding in extra things about notable people or events and this is to build a foundation of knowledge. 

We have had tears. I have yelled. I have felt defeated. I have felt on top of the world. My son has spent long days and even weekends attempting to master something from Math. The tears fall, the frustration flows, and we embrace all the emotions and work through it. By having them here and teaching them here, I am able to see the weak points and help them improve. I am able to see the strong points and help them to excel. 

I struggle with fun. I don't know why I struggle with fun, but I do. I am attempting to improve on this. I have had to adjust our entire schedule multiple times to find what fits. I found what fit for us and then was told that my kids could continue Speech Therapy at their schools due to the IEPs they have. 

I took the opportunity and it threw a huge monkey wrench into our schedule. This was week one, and I pray that week two, which will have four days of bouncing between the schools, goes much smoother. 

In the beginning we had many breaks a day. But these had to go. I could not bring them back on task once they got up and ran around. Now we push through math, break for a tiny snack, come back for LA, Spelling, and Handwriting, and lunch. These kids eat all day long. Sometimes it feels like I am living with two hungry caterpillars. 

Lunch is where I start the break with a YouTube video that is either a notable person or event and they watch this while I get lunch ready. Then I have scaled lunch back from an hour to about 45 minutes. The goal is to be done before 1:30 every day. This is pushing each child and myself right up to our limits. But the end goal for them is screen time. Hours of screen time. My goal is to use this time for a virtual volunteering opportunity that I have. I also enjoy mindlessly scrolling through social media or much more recently looking at all the houses for rent that don't allow pets and are expensive. 

Throughout all of this crazy, I have had kidney stone pain, hospitalized, pain from a stent. My husband has had work issues, and now is in school. I am packing up our house for a potential move. I am doing laundry nearly every day. My short order cook skills are getting up to phenomenal. The needs of my family pushing me to rise every day. Pushing me to give it my best. Unfortunately, I am losing control of my eating habits. My stress eating is through the roof and I am even craving coffee. Though the truth of it is, I would love a cigarette. That is horrible, I know, but this stress can be through the roof some days. I look in the mirror and I see my body shape as okay, then I see my protruding belly that looks as if I am six months pregnant bulging out. I secretly eat anything sweet I can smuggle into this house. You see a problem? I do too. I cannot find the motivation to workout though we have an exercise bike, a treadmill, a great area to walk the dogs or ride a bike. I am failing at this. I am letting myself go.  

In the background is the election noise. The social unrest. The desire to change the world through educating my kids and becoming a better person. I have my absentee ballot and I plan to send it in soon. That is one great way to be a part of the push for change. 

My favorite tv shows are a thing of the past. I long for the days of quiet time to use toward just watching a show. I could still do this, but with kids at home it is continuous pausing in order to address their needs, issues, and diffuse the situations between them. With a tiny girl screeching at her brother who I am sure is antagonizing her when I am not looking, it is hard to get peace some days. 

But this has been a great 38 days. I am counting down the days until our November break. I am aware that November break brings about see you laters and change and a new house and a big adventure. I am am ready to face the next 38 days. 

October 1, 2020

Confessions of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Kidney Stones

 Our homeschool journey has been going much better than I anticipated. My youngest, whom I expected to be the hardest to teach is actually thriving. My middle child is struggling. His ability to work diligently or with a minimum amount of daydreaming is dragging him down.

The last month has been a true blessing. It has been fun learning along side of the kids. It is amazing to watch their self confidence build. My daughter is now reading at a much better pace than when we started distance learning in March. Her math skills are blossoming. My son is doing well learning his state capitals and even his handwriting is improving. 

Both kids are getting much better at their daily chores. We are finding a harmony and making things work in a way that even I did not expect. We have had some tears and we have overcome them. There are days that we don't accomplish much of what I was hoping to accomplish. Days where youtube is our teacher. And so many days where I wonder if I am doing enough. My husband always assures me that I am doing a great job. 

And then out of the blue I began to have pain in my lower back. I knew what was coming, though I tried to deny it and push through. Ultimately I ended up in the hospital over a weekend. Thankfully, my husband was able to get a week to work at home. That was a glorious week of tandem teaching. Even he admitted that teaching the kids could be exhausting as well as rewarding. The Monday of that week, my husband was solo. I sent him all the passwords and gave him a rundown of what should occur. He tackled it like a boss!

The next two weeks, I had to manage my pain levels and fatigue all while teaching and running the household. That is when we began cutting our days super short. I needed a nap in order to have the strength to tackle dinner. Once I got the stint exchanged for a new one and kidney stone removed, I was back at it. 

I know that homeschool is to reflect flexibility. I know that it is okay to day a day off. I did give the kids and myself one day off, the day of my surgery. 

By the following day I dragged myself out of bed and forced myself to work through the uncomfortable. I made a many trips to pee and it was distracting for both the kids and and I, but we pushed through. By lunch it was obvious that I would not be able to continue. We watched a Sea Turtle Video and several videos on Cesar Chavez. Then we called it a day. 

Today I felt better and I started the kids earlier than normal so we could push through. We managed to get everything done that I wanted done in a timely manner. 

It is hard being a homeschool parent and having medical issues. You have have to work through the pain or discomfort and get things done. You have to know when to stop and when to give yourself a break. 

Here is to overcoming the odds!

September 17 2020

Confessions from a Not So Ordinary Mom: Homeschool

 We will start with this: Yes, I did say I would NEVER homeschool any of my children. But then again it is 2020, and here we are. I am Homeschooling my youngest two children. 

I began to consider this option when distance learning was going strong, wearing me down, bringing me low. The kids and I were exhausted with the routine, exhausted with each other. I noticed that my middle son was struggling with nearly everything. Why can't my then second grader read at a Kindergarten Level? It began to pile up. 

The pros and cons list came out. Pros, I could get my son caught up, because in the beginning it was only going to be him. Then I was considering that upcoming move that still is not in the books for us. So that got me thinking more about my daughter. Then May happened. Glorious May with the seemingly great PTO meeting that ended in disaster. Well, really emotional disaster. Anyway, I decided for my mental health I needed to homeschool my children. 

How on earth does homeschooling help with mental health? Well, I needed a break from the people around me. Not so much in my neighborhood, and not all of those I met during various activities I participated in . I needed a break from putting on a face and struggling to fit into a box. See, I am really a rebel at heart, and as I near my mid-forties I am realizing that I don't fit inside of a box. That I am like air filling up a balloon and at any moment I could burst. 

I need to find the new me, as I am sure that this is yet another metamorphosis. When this is all over I will be a new version of me. I need to come to terms with this bubbling rage that is right below the surface. I need to come to terms with the fact that I am not the conservative that I thought I was. I need to find myself in the midst of it all. 

But this decision felt right. I started the research. I reached out to friends who were homeschooling pros. I reached out to those I thought might have insight even though I didn't think it would be beneficial to me. I read reviews of curriculum after curriculum. I weighed out what was important to me. I then opened that bank account and let that money pay for the education that I know my children deserve. I found resources, I found support. I found a whole new community. 

All of this is directly in response to our current world situation. I did not want to send my kids to school knowing that mask wearing was a struggle to them. I also did not want to send them and then have them come back home to distance learn. To be brutally honest, distance learning was a horrible nightmare. The routine didn't work, the Google meets were horrendous for the most part. I knew that we would not survive another round of distance learning. I also knew that the transition from school to distance learning would be hard on my son. We needed stability. We needed our home. 

We have slowly begun to venture out. We have visited Tennessee. We avoid Walmart. I finally went inside of an Aldis for the first time since March. But really, I have begun to lay the foundation of teamwork and family unity. I am teaching the kids that for this to work we need to be a team. And so far it is working. 

They have picked up more chores. Now this isn't anything too big. Just daily vacuuming and mopping, changing bathroom trash bags and keeping your room clean. Rewards are extra screen time that even Mommy needs you to have. 

I have avoided sending my son to school with a mask, hearing aides, and glasses. I have avoided sending my overly social daughter to a school with kids that might not talk to her because their mommy doesn't like me. Trust me, it is better this way. 

So homeschooling started a week ago. I made us a schedule that we stuck to like glue for two days. By day three I was tweaking it. And now here we are, what schedule? I see that they both need extra LA and Math, so we work on the two for nearly 2 hours each morning. I give breaks, we play the math games. We try to do typing each day, and certainly Spanish. Marine Biology has become shark week. I am still processing how to teach the History we have. It is Biblical based, but not so much as to be overwhelming. It is heavy on the reading, and it is most certainly white washed. My compromise on that is to teach for Hispanic Heritage month and Black History Month. I will find other things to add in. 

I am satisfied with our decision. I like the fun supplies we purchased. They are working with me. They are finding a groove. Together we are doing this. 

Unraveling

Hard year, from March to June.
 Normalcy gone.
Relax, but not true relax.

Friendship, slowly, mixed with children's laughter.
Late nights, bonfires, talking, talking, talking.

What happened?
Where did I go and how did I end up here?

In this place of deep regret tinged with deep embarrassment and a loss of a brief moment in time.

I am an adult.

I am

What? What am I?

Saved? Should be

Swear like a sailor, like I am uneducated, covered.

The f bomb always ready to drop

Cultured? Wasn't I?

Sweet, I was.

Anger welling up inside of me, like a red hot wave of lava

I must live with my decisions.

I must live with what I did.

Remorse? yes, a tiny bit so, possibly not so much as I should have though

Darkness? yes, the light inside of me is getting harder to see

Where can I find myself? Church? Haven't been in months
Bible's by my bed, read them, probably not.

I am truly lost and I

I don't know what to do or where to go from here.

Continue to grow is all that I can do

The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Unfriended

Unfriended, that should not be, but can be a powerful word. You tell yourself that it doesn't really matter, but then it happens to you and it does matter. Then you tell yourself you are being silly, but you feel this sick feeling deep inside.

I was unfriended. Honestly it should not have been a surprise, but it was, and it did hurt, deeply.

The elementary PTO came to an end with a social distancing transition meeting. I was excited to see my current board mates and the incoming board. I was excited to share my experiences and to suggest a few changes. The former VP had asked if anyone would be wearing a mask, I said that I would, but I didn't unless I was talking directly to her during the meeting. While at the meeting I happened to notice that the VP had sent a message to me saying she would sit next to me during the meeting because I would wear a mask. I felt horrible. I had let her down. After the meeting I sent her a message letting her know that I admired her for sticking to her beliefs. She had worn her mask all during the meeting. I also let her know that I valued her opinion. I already had this feeling that this woman that I admire and think of as a friend, was thinking I was wishy washy and not good at keeping my word. This haunted me all the next day after the meeting.

Upon arrival, I was gifted a beautiful tumbler with my name on it, one that has since become a petty sticking point sitting on my counter. I had forgotten my camp chair and therefore pulled a reusable bag from my van to sit on. I had my mask with me and my suggestion list. The air was cooling down from unbearable humid and the distant sound of children playing and passing cars filled the empty silence as we waited in the church parking lot for everyone to arrive.

For many months now I had sensed a shift in my relationship with the current President. It started so simply when I found out about Drama Club at the school. I was confused how she didn't mention why my daughter wasn't signed up as our daughters were somewhat friends. It had seemed like an oversight and almost intentional. I got the information contact and was able to add my daughter to the club, but almost from that moment way back in the early months of the year, it had felt like we were beginning to walk separate paths. And really that is normal. People grow and change and it is nothing to be sad about, it is part of our personal growth.

At one point I had been at a school board meeting where it was brought up that our elementary school had a lot of outstanding lunch debt. This is one of my issues that I hold close to my heart. I do not believe any kid, despite family income, should have to pay for lunch or breakfast. I brought it up to the President and when it shifted from my inquiry how can we help, to her answer "Well I bet that is all of the E9s who are lazy and don't want to pay" I know I became defensive when I answered, because I really don't believe that to be the case. I live in a neighborhood designated for the lower ranks. It became a tad heated as I voiced my concerns and even my own experience. You see there was once a time my oldest did not have lunch money. As a single mom I worked and I did not qualify for the free lunch program. When I got married and added a child I really did not qualify. There were many times my son had no lunch money. The school he went to, they were strict on the "no money, no food" rule. He would be given bread with peanut butter or the principle would buy his lunch that day and send home a note about how she had to pay for him to eat and blah blah. The irony of the situation was that his school was like this one, it was sitting in the middle of a wealthy neighborhood, and it was a small school, so they knew our situation, but they did not reach out with compassion. Instead they ignored or ridiculed or said non helpful things like "why don't you apply for free lunch?"

 Anyway, I know this moment was a for sure turning point. It was the moment I found my voice. It was the moment I realized that I am able to vocalize and to stand my ground for my beliefs. Our last in person meeting also had a moment where I stood my ground for what I believe. I stand with the underdog. I stand with those who do not have the means to provide what their families need. I stand with those who are not popular. After the meeting the Secretary reached out and said that I had been passionate and that she had never seen me like that. My voice had been heard, but it obviously put another crack in the one friendship.

So the transition meeting commences and I listen to the President spinning herself in this easy going easy to work with light. In a way that I know was not always the reality. I listened to her cut off the VP that she had often clashed with. I heard her say she had taken the suggestion from the Secretary that I know she completely blew off. I am sitting there in disbelief and wondering what my fellow board mates are thinking and how the new board is interpreting her words. Only one of us from the current board will be on the board next year. She is a sweet lady, but one I have never fully trusted as instinct says she only agrees with the one she is currently engaging with. I know she is good friends with the President and I have zero issues with this. But I have also talked with her and heard her passion and her great ideas, only to arrive at meetings and hear her say "You know M and I have already talked about this and this is what we think" Because her And M they always talk and make decisions and then at meetings it is "Should I go ahead and mention that or wait?" It was almost like they had meetings before meetings to align themselves before they brought it up with the rest of the board. At those meetings I would be looking at the other two and wondering if they too thought they had missed something. Again I digress.

When the subject of our Spirit Wear fundraiser is brought up, I add my suggestions of inclusivity. I knew this was not a popular thing for the President. But this goes back to my first month with kids at the school. We arrived in late October. My kids started school that last week. They missed picture day at this school and the ones they left. So anyway, my kids come home talking about not getting a spirit prize. I am confused about this and as I am going to a Popcorn Friday, I bring this up at the event. The girl I spoke to explained to me that you must have current year school shirt to get a prize and they were not sure yet if they would do a second order. So I was immediately confused and asked how could my kids participate because, well we were new here. There were no shirts left in their size, so they could wear blue on those days and get a prize. I mentioned that I thought it was kind of like a money scheme, which did not gain me much grace with this girl. That is when the idea blossomed that I would like to be on the board. That I would like to make this my cause. No kid should be left out. Fast forward to becoming a board member and having inclusivity shot down once again. That and the fact that no one wanted to have volunteers be able to log volunteer hours into the Army's VMIS system, those became two sticking points. Well, to be honest, more like bug bites that you can't quit scratching. I did not like Spirit Friday's just for the fact that I now knew that some of these families were moving, had just moved here, or had multiple kids. Each time I broached the subject I was met with "Well, that is not our problem, or they can wear blue on spirit goes blue, or we can't give shirts to everyone, or this is our main fundraiser" It was frustrating to say the least. So I am sure that over the course of the school year, she had gotten tired of me.

I did get the VMIS to become a thing, but again this was through a lot of persuasiveness. The argument that if you volunteer with the PTO and want to log hours means that you are only in it for an award did not sit well with me. I knew the inner workings and how this could benefit someone for a job resume or for a school age kid to accrue much needed hours. And then one day, she caved and said you set it up you can do it. You know what?, I did, and it was a success. Within just a month many of our volunteers began to log hours. I mingled and brought this up to as many volunteers as I could, and always letting them know it was optional.

See the reason I was unfriended did not just happen, it happened over the course of a school year.

At the meeting my suggestion was met with much agreement on the incoming board. The incoming Treasurer even mentioned that with the current state of the economy many more parents might not be able to afford the extra costs this coming school year.

I also stressed the importance of mingling. I know this is not a strong point of everyone. For myself and for the former VP, this was something we did well. Our former president did know everyone's name and knew which kids belonged to which parent. That was such a strong point, and one that I never failed to admire. But things didn't go so well after our former VP began speaking. She would be laying out what she found worked, the summer playdates she set up, or something else and the former President would cut her off. I would elaborate on something the VP said. I even brought up her wonderful teacher birthday recognition that she was in charge of. I guess all of my elaboration and saying the VP this or that, was hurtful and not intentional, but should have been handled differently. You would think that I as the oldest person there, could have managed to not hurt someone's feelings so badly. But was I the only one in the wrong?

By the end of the meeting it was late and I felt positive. I felt like the new board was ready and the current board was ready for new adventures. I walked away with a beautiful cup in my hand. The former president asked about how my son was healing from a procedure he had recently, we talked about the barber we had both used for our sons, and it felt like there was something missing. I got in my van and drove home.

Thursday I pull myself out of bed and see I have a message from the former VP. What? you were unfriended? You noticed that I was and also the former Secretary. It was true. I was actually unfriended by two people, two former PTO Presidents. I messaged M and she said that I hurt her feelings. I had started out with "I am sorry if I offended you" I apologized for hurting her feelings and I listened to her response on how my words at the meeting made her feel like she had done a terrible job. I then told her all the qualities that she had that I truly admired and that watching her in that role, showed me that I am not ready to be a president yet, most likely not even a vp. I told her it was a great thing being part of the board with her. I also told her that her friendship had mattered to me more than that board. I felt so low all that day, and here I am on a Saturday, still feeling low. I also have a beautiful tumbler with my name on it that I will most likely never use. I just cannot look at it without seeing that blue button "Add Friend"

I don't know why this matters to me so much. I will be moving soon. I just know that two ladies that I thought really cared about me as a friend, unfriended me because I had a different opinion. One of them had even reached out to ask if I was okay, and I thought to myself "wow she really cares, how very sweet" But words are just words. It is now up to me how I interpret this situation and grow from this situation. It is up to me, to remain cordial in public and to carry on in a positive way. I admit I was wrong by not handling the meeting in a better way, but I really think this started months ago and that on a deeper level we were probably more acquaintances than friends. Everyone has stuff they deal with on a personal level and how they present that or use it to shape their beliefs, is part of their story. It is up to each of us to respect their journey and to listen to their beliefs without judgment.

May you be the very best you.

The Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Two Months Later

Here we are, Friday the 15th of May. The day it all changed for me was Friday the 13th of March. That was the last day I hosted a get together inside of my house. There was pizza that night. Pizza and ceviche. No pizza was consumed by my family until the very first week of May.

May, it came so fast, but so slowly. Saturday May 2, my husband and I accepted an invite to eat at our neighbors. It was a cookout!!! Like before all the craziness. We ate salsa, we ate grilled Chicken. Oh we laughed! It felt so good, so normal. Just two families sitting on the back patio with the grill going and great food. Conversation, and wine. At 4:30 a.m. I woke up in my bed, dry eyes, the room spinning. I struggled up to go to the bathroom and realized I was fully dressed, had no idea how I walked that short distance home, and my contacts were in. I pulled my contacts out and tossed them into the trash. I almost crawled back to my bed. I woke up two more times, and two more times I thought I was dying. Finally at 8, I retreated to the cooler living room and sat on the couch. As I am looking at my FB, I realize that I missed the loud music and the fireworks. My husband finally makes an appearance and explains to me that at 10pm, I nearly passed out, so he brought me home and went back to the barbeque. He said that our son was home with me and our daughter was living every kid's dream dancing in the firelight and roasting marsh mellows until 1am. when he brought her home. He also heard the fireworks and our attached neighbor was playing the loud music. He also planned a small get together for our son's upcoming birthday.

I spent much of that day recovering and listening to my husband pick on me for drinking two bottles of wine. I truly felt like poo. We sat down and made a plan for this get together. Two families would be invited. Each from our little dead end street. We would have a small piñata. We would serve burgers, hot dogs, and ceviche. I would make desserts, our awesome neighbor would make the cake. The weather turned cold. There was rain. The rain stopped the night before the birthday celebration. The day of was cool, but we were cooking out at 2. Our attached neighbor loaned us their big grill. We borrowed a table and chairs from our neighbor. We did not maintain social distance. The entire celebration was outside. The food was served inside. When it came time for cake, we cut my son's slice and placed the candles on it for him to blow out. It was right on the line of an appropriate celebration. What is normal now? Is this to be the reality? My son's biggest wish next to getting a computer, was to go to Tennessee to celebrate with our families. This could not happen, so we found a happy medium. My son really wanted this special girl that he has been chatting with multiple times a day online to come. I had to call her mom and explain that I could not invite her though I really wanted to. It was so awkward. Anyone who knows me, will know that I am game for all the friends to come and celebrate, but it could not be that way this year. We celebrated late into the night and then came inside and fell into an exhausted heap on the couch. Clean up took place the next day.

Yay! Online school has come to a close. We finished good, I won't say it was a strong finish. The kids and I were done. It was so hard to wake up each day and get going and then stay on task. I felt let down that we never got to go back. It was hard to do a grab and go for belongings. I met with each of the two PTOs and we tied up loose ends. One more meeting and I will no longer be on any PTO board. I am so sad by this. I love being a part of something bigger than I am .

I feel a closer connection to the families on my little dead end street than I do for most of the people I have known the entire time I have been here. As I was driving through a neighborhood doing and auction pick up, it dawned on me that new friendships have been forged. Those that we turned to during this time will be our new rock walls to lean on. Going through this was in some ways harder than facing a deployment or extended field exercise. I miss my life before this. I miss getting up and having a place to be and time to be there. I have worn mascara three times and done my full make up twice. I wear leggings daily, which is mostly normal. I have bought a lot of shoes, shoes that I am sure I won't be wearing anytime soon. Netflix and Hulu show me the outside world as if in a dream. I am not who I was before and I am sure I am not the only one whose very existence has been altered by all of this.

Things are opening up slowly. Some states you can actually eat inside of a restaurant and shop in stores. I do not know how I feel about all of this. Cautious, but also unsure of how to proceed. At which point do I admit that I was a sheep, or was I a sheep? Have I acted out of my own free will or because the Government and the media have directed my actions? What to believe? How can you really know for sure which side is right? Why does there have to be only two ways it can go? I know that I am not fully comfortable returning to normal. I know that the idea of my family moving who knows where this fall terrifies me. I am trying to think positively about going back to school. I mean, I want my kids to go back, but is it the right way for things to move forward? I think that the time for big change is upon us. I told my kids daily pay attention, learn how to use these programs, this is your future. I think that those younger than me, those who have always welcomed more chances to do things online are finally getting their dream come true. Will anyone know how to properly greet people in person? Will they all become socially distant and there be no more community gatherings? What happens to church in a building? I am so confuse about the entire thing. Unlike my husband, I tend to shy away from the media. I don't want to listen to the media picking apart everything that the POTUS says. I mean, he constantly talks to them and says and does things that will only add fuel to the fires. I am tired of conspiracy theories. I just cannot do them anymore. I have read and watched all that is put out. I want to be objective, to know both sides, but to me they are all reaching or grasping for the truth. Only God knows.

I feel even more lost than before. As one of the neighbors was getting his plate he looked to my walls with a small amount of religious pictures. When he asked if it was my husband or I who was religious, I could not even answer. I have truly lost my religion. It has been coming for awhile. Ever since we moved to Fort Drum. I feel God moving further and further away. It is me of course because he does not leave us, but I realized that I am not sad PWOC is finished. I am not sad that I cannot go worship in the church. I am relieved that I can stay in my home and drop the F bomb silently all day long. It is a pathetic existence, but it is my reality.

I think this whole stay at home thing has not been good for me mentally. I have nightmares where I see my daughter shot or where I am about to be killed. I wake myself out crying into my pillow as my husband sleeps next to me. There are days where I cannot get myself to work through it for fear that my mind will fall back into those dreams. Why am I like that? I know, because I am a lost soul. I am one of the lost. I changed my FB name to my middle name. I don't really know why I felt compelled to do this, only that it seemed the right thing to do. So now I am in this weird in between place.

The highlight of my week was when the library announced we could once again check out materials simply by sending and email with our request. It was a glorious moment to pick up new books and turn in the old books.

Mother's day was a great day. We had a picnic in the yard eating the birthday celebration leftovers. We went to the PX and my husband let my daughter pick my present. I was beyond shocked to see the designer handbag. I even offered to take it back. I am now a proud owner of a purse that cost nearly as much as our wedding ring set that I can no longer wear.

We are well. The kids are happy. My daughter outside nearly every day playing with two little boys. My middle son becoming a recluse. Wrapped up in his virtual world with his borrowed computer from the school and his new computer. He chats often with that special girl and I feel as if I know her a tad bit. I have heard him speak more to her in an hour than he does to me in a day. I hear is gleeful laughter and know that it won't be heard outside of his room. Medical is open in our state, so now the official countdown to his corrective ankle surgery is on. The last week of this month we have that, the second week of June he finally gets the final baby teeth pulled. He is scared. I am numb.

My labs were not much worse than pre stay at home, but they weren't any better. I have failed at improving them. With my husband cooking most of the meals due to my inability to care about much after school is finished, I don't have as much control. Add to this the fact that we are limited on the amount of meats we can buy. Then there is the temptation to buy or bake sweets. I am truly doomed.

But for now, I have survived, and my family has survived two months of this new normal. My husband is back to work and we are waiting to see what our next adventure will be.

Be blessed in all that you do

The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Reflections

As Sunday dawns chilly at first light with cloud cover, I throw aside the blankets and place my feet lightly on the floor. I am ready as ready will ever be to face yet another day inside my house, my neighborhood, my safety area.

When once I thought I would never survive inside my house, I have come to realize it is really not so bad. I have ventured out to the stores, but that leaves me feeling off. In a way I wonder if agoraphobia will become a much more recognized condition. As we become immersed in life inside our homes, we grasp the ability to do most things online. We can shop, we can bank, we can work and teach and even meet. Appearances may slide, at least for me they have. I have worn make up once in a month. I have blow dried my hair a handful of times. My go to clothes are my leggings and comfy t-shirts. For school we all get out of bed and dressed in various forms of comfy clothes. I have watched my husband become more comfortable in athletic shorts and when he goes out he will swap to khaki shorts.

 I counted up my outings from my side of post and I came up with three trips into Louisville, two of those trips my family ordered tacos to eat in the van. We have ordered cheese dip two times, we have gone inside of a Walmart two times, the commissary three times, Aldi once, and a Walmart pick up. All that since April 14.  My husband also reenlisted the first week of social distancing. This change is huge for my family. I am coming to the end of my two PTO terms, I am still on the Resident Advisory board, PWOC is now online only.

My social life is basically non existent. I should be sad, but in a small way I am relieved. I have been putting myself out there for nearly three years. I posted only pictures of me as my profile picture so people would see my face and choose me to babysit, or know that I was someone they could reach out to as the FRG Leader, The Treasurer, and Finally for the PTO and the RAB. I recently changed it to a picture of something not my face. It is back to my face, but I have now changed my fb name. I have decided to step back. To use this time to focus on me, on my family.

See for us, we are the brink of a huge change. My husband will be a recruiter by the end of this year. We will most likely be living away from the Military Community I so love and cherish. We will very likely be in a place where I am the minority. And worst of all we will have to accept that my husband might not be home for supper, might be working weekends, will be fielding phone calls at odd times. We will have to learn a new way to support him as he faces new stresses and challenges. During this time we have fully embraced our tiny family unit. We are enjoying the bike rides, the times to cook and clean and learn together. Movies on the Tv, Music blasting from the blue tooth speakers. Cuddles with the Chihuahuas.

We see our neighbors from time to time, but mostly in passing. My husband still sees his soldiers almost daily and talks to them on the phone. I still message a few of my friends, but I feel the closure of our time at this place coming. I know that I can drive away from here and remember the good times, but also know this was never a forever home. It was difficult to drive away from NNY. I was heart broken for months and struggled to find my place here. I have met many amazing women and many of them I will remain in contact with. I have been faced with the fake and the judgmental here and I know that is everywhere. I know that in many instances I was merely flitting in between, but never truly belonging. Isn't that what we all strive for? Belonging to what? I crave the company of those who have struggled and survived. Those who are educated and examples of how to become the best you.

While being here, I have learned that I am passionate about being involved and speaking up for the underdog. I have learned that I want to use my voice to advocate for those who don't have an advocate. I care about donating money to wipe out a lunchroom debt because I believe all kids should have free lunches regardless of how much money the parents make. I want to help everyone and I know and understand that there are those that you cannot help, but I still want to try. I want to speak up for those who might not be able to afford school spirit shirts and therefore their kids may not get a prize, which by the way, breaks my heart. I have come to realize that one of my strong points, might be a weak point, is the ability to see and listen to all sides. I know how it feels to have what you need and I know how it feels to not have what you need. I have so many friends from all walks of life. I have friends who have struggled with a wide range of issues. Because I am empathetic I have felt their struggles and celebrated their wins right along side of them.

Years ago when my greatest friendship turned out to be a huge lie, I realized that not everyone sees the world the way we do. I have grown from that betrayal and used that experience to grow. It was slow at first because I did not want to get close to anyone. I became more introverted than normal. But then we moved to NNY and my husband deployed. I began babysitting, I threw myself into FRG involvement, I made a friend for life. Suddenly I met others who pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. All of that led me to where I am now. I am deeply saddened to not be able to re run for a position on either PTO board. I will volunteer until we move though. But at the end of all that has transpired in the last school year, I am ready to step back. I am ready to reanalyze the friendships that I thought I had formed. I am ready to accept that for many I am just there, not a meaningful part of their lives. I am okay with this, though honesty is  that it hurts.

In the end you must take all that you learned and grow from it. My roots are getting stronger, they are growing deeper. I am learning how to navigate the world of public existence and I know that where ever we land I will grow. I am dreading all that leads up to a move. Thinking positively though, all of this social distancing will make the see you laters much easier. There will be no long drawn out goodbyes and events to attend. One day I will be here, the next packing and leaving my house and then I will be off to the next place.

Be the best you. Be open to change and not narrow minded. Embrace everyone no matter, race, belief, politics, etc. BE THE BEST YOU.

The Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Teacher Parade

It is the Week of the Military Child. This includes Purple Up for the Military Child. On a normal year, you visit your housing office, if you live on a Military installation, for a purple pinwheel. Or you go to the local PX and get a free dandelion patch. On April 15th everyone wears a purple shirt. It is kind of a big deal if you are into all of that. Don't forget that the dandelion is the flower that represents the Military Child. This is because they are strong and resilient and used to change.

For the most part it was not a huge deal this year with all of this stuff going on. The schools on post got together and planned a teacher parade for April 15th and everyone could wear purple. Signs and banners were made and sweet anticipation rippled through the community. My kids were vibrating with excitement as the time for the first parade drew closer.

The first parade was the high school, middle school, and intermediate schools. As the kids and I stood with our sign outside of our van, we were chilly and the wind was whipping all around us. When we saw the first flashing lights of the MP, we began to squeal in delight. As they drew closer they turned on the siren momentarily and suddenly the morning air was filled with the beeping horns and shouts from the cars passing us by. As the teachers recognized my son, they would call out his name. We were so elated and full of new morale after that parade rolled on by us. Thankfully it was time for lunch break. This gave me a moment to review my own pictures, but that all my on post friends and the school fb page. I stared in awe at those videos of the parade and new deep in my hear that I had just been a part of something special, even if I was just a spectator.

Back to the grind for just a little bit. The kids each having a Google Meet. And then it was time for my daughter's school parade. The wind was much stronger this time around. The sun was high in the sky. Instead of our car being the only one in the empty lot, this time there were several and people lined up on the sidewalks. Everyone was mindful of keeping the distance. The kids were so full of excitement. You could feel the electricity from their anticipation all along the street. From our vantage point, we could see the school and when the parade began to roll out of the parking lot onto the street. The fire trucks were blowing horns, police sirens, car horns, and shouting all along the street. This parade was harder for me. Harder for my daughter. As Committee Chair for the PTO, I had spent a lot of time at this school, a lot of time talking to teachers and the other parents. Deep in my heart I knew this was a farewell of sorts.

As the last car passed us my daughter asked if we could see it again, so we hopped into the van and headed over to another neighborhood. We found a place to park and took up a spot in the island between the two streets. I was across the street from fellow PTO members and one previous PTO member. It was great to see them, but not like I thought it should be. Soon the parade was coming towards us and once again we watched those teachers roll by with joy on their faces. Again my heart felt heavy and my normally talkative daughter was quiet. Upon returning home, we called it a day.

This week were once again given a new learning platform, but this one actually gives us more control over our schedule and the time we put into it. We still have the Google meets, which is getting easier as the days go by. Today we learned that in all probability we won't return to finish out this school year. My time with the two PTOs is nearly done. I am deeply saddened that my last few months here will be spent in my home away from those who brighten my day. The great conversations and laughter and Starbucks. It is what it is and I know that this too shall pass.

The Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: After Spring Break

When Monday rolled around we did Monday. It was not necessarily a good Monday as Mondays go. The virtual platform for my son's school was different. My son was like a space cadet. I had to read everything to him. I had to lay it out step by step for him. I lost my cool. I yelled at the top of my lungs. My daughter wasn't being overly productive either. I ended up calling the school and two teachers called me to assure me that we were doing well and to keep it up. It was odd to hear the teachers telling me how best my son learns and it was great advice.

We rolled into Tuesday and my daughter had an amazing first half of the day. We did multiple math lessons and her little brain was on fire. My son was focused on his work and did much better and thankfully we had the ELA Aide on the phone with him. When my daughter had her midday Google Meet she couldn't focus and listening was not happening. The teacher quickly caught on and let us go.

I had my first PTO Zoom meeting. How nice it was to see everyone and to talk about things that were not on a 5th and 2nd grade level. We ended the meeting and had a quick chat session. My time as a Committee Chair at my daughter's school is coming to a close. I know that before long new adventures will open up and I will have new paths to explore.

By Wednesday my daughter was done. I tried to get her to watch the ELA videos and complete the work. I ended up screaming at her in a rage by 11 a.m. My husband suggested that she go to her room and I go pick up the school lunches. I biked to the school in a fury. I could feel the rage rolling off of me. Back home, kids fed and son is working diligently. Again I struggle with my daughter and again we end up in a stalemate. This meant that the two extra days she should have off will be partially spent doing this work. I tried to explain to her that her teacher took time from her kids to create this online platform. I tried to make her understand that she was making it harder on herself and me. I know it is selfish to include myself, but I need free time too. I need time to step away from the teaching roll. Time to be just a mom.

It is now mandated that all DOD facilities are to be utilized by people wearing a mask. Mask making has begun in earnest all around our post. This also meant that since my husband had a mask alternative and I did not, that he would go to the Commissary. I wrote him a short list with the much needed rice at the top. He came home with the harder to find items and no rice. I was still extremely thankful to him. This also means that I have not left the general area of my neighborhood in over a week. The furthest I have gone is a neighboring neighborhood to pick up something from a porch. I have become isolated. In a way this is somewhat normal for me as I do not normally like to drive across town to just drive across town. In other ways this is highly unusual as I am a fairly social person due to my volunteering commitments.

Wednesday was a beautiful and warm and sunny day. I knew from the news that a storm would roll in. I also expected some moderate wind and a lot of rain. After my second online PTO meeting, which was again like a breath of fresh air, I got my kids into bed. Hubby and I settled in to watch a show and wait on his next round of accountability calls from his Soldiers. Just as we turn off the lights I realize that our repurposed bike stroller is uncovered. I go outside and get it covered and think to myself how odd the air felt and it seemed like I was breathing in dirt. I return to bed and start telling my husband that I think I left my barely alive poinsettia outside on the front porch. As we are discussing how my plant will be fine, a terrible pounding commences outside of our bedroom window. The wind was roaring against our house. The window was rattling and the curtain was literally blowing in and out. We hear a thud and I am up grabbing for my robe. I throw open the front door and see and feel nature's fury. The wind is swirling there is dust and debris. I grab my son's bike that was knocked to the ground, I grab our lounge chair. I am thrilled by the sight of this storm, as I love storms. My husband and I run to the back door to look out and check the trampoline. We realize quickly that ours is intact but our two neighbor's have lost their trampolines. When I return to the front door our non social distancing neighbor runs over to offer to help us bring in our porch furniture. I decline and then they tell us that another trampoline had blown down the road past all of the parked cars. It mere minutes it is all over. Everything settles down and returns to a semblance of normal.

When morning dawns, I get dressed and head outside. The sight before me is many branches strewn in the road, the yards and all around the cars. It is chilly in the early morning air. Our cars for the most part are okay. There is a small ding on one of the van doors. Later in the afternoon the kids and I go outside to clean up the branches. Maintenance was by earlier in the day to clean up the large branches.

I did manage to get my daughter to do some school work. I picked up face masks that were made for my husband and I. In return I had baked pumpkin muffins. Hubby had to work, and he made a Walmart run. He also cooked and amazing dinner. Potato tacos. They were phenomenal. Last night I cooked spicy chicken with the rainbow bell peppers.

Though we are largely stuck in our neighborhood, we are blessed with good neighbors. Technology though infuriating at times, is a Godsend. I often catch myself remembering my 90s teenage years and how I did not have technology. I only had a dial up home phone, a VCR, a TV, and a typewriter. My stereo was a saving grace and how I loved to type stories. How much has changed since then. I know my kids would never make it if they were tossed into the 90s.

Find a positive everyday God Bless.

Chronicals of a Not so Oridinary Mom: Spring Break

Spring Break came and went.

No travel, no true notice of the passage of a weeks worth of days.

Big plans to continue working on school work were pushed aside in order to relax, regroup and adjust.

The first weekend passed with little notice and much staying up too late and getting up late. On into Monday were we watched TV and dealt with slightly cooler temperatures. The heat had to come back on.

Tuesday rolled around and shit hit the fan. I had decided to order online from Walmart. This would be my first time. Time consuming and lots of concentration as I tried to work my way through my grocery list. In the middle of it when time is essential in order to keep my pick up time, my two kids begin shouting at each other. I turn and tell them to turn off the game system. They both yell at me in unision, an I begin yelling at them to turn it off and go to their rooms. I grab controllers and walk back into my kitchen and finish what I was doing. A few minutes later my husband returns home happy as you please. He is shocked when he hears what had just transpired. A little later we make grocery run to the commissary and then to Walmart to pick up my order.  I am still in need of breakfast sausages and Jasmine Rice.

Wednesday to Sunday became a blur. When the weather turned nice we went on family bike rides and walks. We picked up school lunches on the week days and made our own Saturday and today.

My hometown in Tennessee has provide much online entertainment as I read post after post of hardships caused by the shut down of many businesses and the pros and cons of why people should stay home. Somehow the concept of flattening the curve seems lost on so many. They insist it is essential to eat out when they have the means to eat out. It is as if they do not realize that this is only the beginning. This is where it is about life and death and keeping those we love safe. This is almost like the eye of the storm. Once we can emerge from our homes and regain some sense of normalcy the economy will crash. Unemployment is rising already. I see people eating out and I wonder when they will realize that they should be saving money.

Monday of last week my oldest son became unemployed. Instead of using that as a time to stay home, he ventured from TN to KY to visit his half sister. I was devastated when he called me from her house. I knew he was only a little over an hour away, yet I had to tell him to come. I was hurt that he refused to acknowledge how he was endangering everyone he encountered, to include his grandfather that he lives with. Instead he hung up the phone hurt and angry at me. I sat there on my couch stunned. As a mom I want my home to always be open to my children. But these times are making that hard to do especially if your child lives in another state with your aging parent.

The situation in Mexico where my husband's family lives are not much better. They are faced with job loss and rising food costs and crazy rumors about people going to the hospital and never returning. My husband calls them daily and we pray hard for them.

Saturday we did a three mile hike and came home feeling rejuvenated. Saturday night we sat a safe distance from our attached neighbor. They had a fire going in their fire pit. We drank our own alcohol and enjoyed the fire from the yard as the fire pit was on their back patio. It is strange how you make adjustments to find a semblance of normalcy. We spent an hour outside and then came in to call it a night. Please keep in mind that these are people who like us have had minimal contact with others outside of our homes and our husband's jobs. These are people who live in the same dead end area of the neighborhood. From our chairs we could barely feel the blazing heat of a great fire only remnants of the heat as it drifted up and away.

Today we are relaxing and preparing for the next week. We know that homeschooling has now been announced as "Until further notice" Thankfully we will still have the school lunch pick up.

I am fully sad that I won't be able to plan the end of the year events with my two PTOs. My next Resident Advisory Board meeting will be a phone conference. The two exit rams to the outside towns have been blocked under the guise of maintenance. We are still able to get off post and back on through the one main gate.

Pray for Monday as I am sure it will be a hard one

The Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: More Changes

Hello Thursday, normally early release Thursday for the kids.

Last night the husband came in from work late, yes Happy Anniversary to us. In addition to being late, he had a box. As of last night he will be working at home and he will be on call. For the most part the "on call" should have very little impact on him. I took the news with mixed feelings. Yay he will be here should I need his help, and Really? As the night wore on I realized that this would mean even less free time for me to do as I please. It also will be a great time to work on our communication and parenting skills. Hopefully we both survive this.

I mentally prepared myself to the be the first one up, as is normal on any days off he has whether kids are in school or not. So this morning I hit the floor at 6:30, just seconds before his phone began ringing. As I am preparing to get a shower, he comes in to tell me it is 100% accountability via video chat. It was rather interesting watching him call his soldiers while sitting in the bed shirtless and slowly coming awake. Secretly I was glad this happened, so that he would be forced out of bed and it would not just be me going about the morning routine.

Once breakfast was over and cleared away, my sweet husband actually washed the skillets. Honestly though I think he did this to prove that he can wash skillets better than me. Shortly after, we had four computers on and all of us sitting around the table trying to get into the groove. Naturally we missed a video chat. This one was for my daughter. My husband's laptop wouldn't support Google Meet, mine wouldn't connect to the internet, the work computer wouldn't connect to Google. It all ended well, just before I blew a fuse. I will be honest, my voice began to get higher and the stress levels were rising. I rushed around the table to turn on my diffuser and then sarcastically, my husband states that the missing diffuser was really the issue. He begins to lecture about me getting everyone all worked up and causing him undue stress and the scaring the kids.

I ignored him and got my daughter set up to Google meet her teacher. My son began doing his work and endless Google meets. I think he was on that platform for upwards of 2 hours, though not consecutively. Guess what still isn't completed? Google slide project will be completed momentarily.

The kids worked hard, the husband, well I am not really sure what he was doing. He did do a little assisting with math or trouble shooting. I was able to do the scanning and printing of worksheets and signed forms for the kids. It is really more like I am mom, teacher, cook, maid, and secretary. My life is slowly becoming dominated my the kids and I am sure the husband before long.

Lunch break, my daughter asked if we could bike over to the school because it was pretty outside. I quickly agree and because there was a tiny chill in the air, my husband tried to say that we needed to ride in the car. Finally we pulled out the bikes and took the quick ride up to the school and back. Hubby and I ended up eating the school lunch and making the kids something else.

After lunch we got back to it. My poor son is working as hard as can be, but it really feels like he is treading water with little progress. I found out today that one of the things my daughter did yesterday, was supposed to be spread out over a few days. She made great progress on the math platform. By 1:30 it was really time to let her go. She was all worked out. I sent my son outside after his last Google meet, and here in just a bit we will knock out that project.

It is really nice watching the kids and husband play outside while I sit in the shade writing this. I look forward to our walk later and cooking dinner with the husband.

Please continue to pray for all those affected by the Coronavirus. Pray hard, the world needs it.

The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: The Great Escape

It is another Wednesday, another hump day to mark the passage of a week. A long week at that.

 A fun fact, on this day eleven years ago I married my tall, dark and handsome husband. If you have read any of my previous posts, then you know our story. But if you haven't I'll just say we have certainly traveled down a winding road and ascended and descended a few fairly good sized hill. We have survived through the bad and seen the good on the other side. This year hubby is once again in the same zip code that I am in, but he is working late. Lucky him to be attached to the only Brigade at our location that is mission essential. I am finally sitting down to type this out after eating dinner alone with the kids.

The morning started off a little rough. My daughter just could not focus. The more I pushed and tried to engage her, the more distracted and upset she became. As for my son, my husband started him off with Google slides. Five minutes into the project we have tears. He couldn't tell us why he was crying only that we were not doing the slides the right way. He was not communicating with us and once we worked past the lack of communication issue it was smooth sailing. By tomorrow that project should be a thing of the past. One of the teachers that works with both my kids at their respective schools called for a video chat today. It was refreshing to catch up with her and to have someone that listened to my difficulties and challenges and offered up solid advice. Away we went to get the kids lunch and they loved the sandwiches. Finally I had a few minutes to scan several sheets of homework and get them turned into the Google classrooms.

Just before we began after lunch work I put both of our Chihuahuas on their leashes and asked my son to take them outside. My oldest son called and then I sat down with my daughter to get her started. Once I had her writing colorful sentences, I decided to check my FB. As I am scrolling through I see a lost dog picture in my neighborhood, I started to keep scrolling, but then I realized it was my dog. But wait I hadn't taken any pictures of him today, and why is he outside on the leash? Slowly I look up from my phone and over to the couch where I see one Chihuahua. My little girl dog has been a little more restless than normal. I look at my son who is sitting across from me focusing on his school work. "Where is Javier?" He looks up clueless or guilty, I am not really sure. And suddenly my daughter is shouting that her brother let him go when she asked him to look at a caterpillar on the trampoline. He is still trying to maintain his innocence.  I am at a loss as I look at him and implore him to explain to me how on earth he goes outside with two dogs and returns with only one. How could he not tell me. He just shrugs "I don't know" "I was distracted" I frantically comment on the picture and send a DM, but I am beginning to realize that thirty minutes has passed and this person might have taken him somewhere as a lost pet. Then I notice that this person has a mutual friend. I call our mutual friend nearly in tears because my sweet Javier is gone. Shortly after our call she sends me the pick up address which is thankfully almost in view of my house. As I start to walk down the road I see a lady with a small animal carrier coaxing an animal out of it. I call "Javi" and instantly he is running to me. The lady and I chat a minute and I explain how this happened. My sweet Javi tends to be a wanderer especially if the kids are outside. Today he took advantage of a dropped leash and went on a stroll only to be apprehended almost in sight of home. The lady said that she was about to take him into the vet to be chipped, and this would have meant doggie jail for him. The rest of the afternoon he stayed on the couch and kept one eye on me at all times. I am so thankful that this had a happy ending. I am also wary of trusting my kids to take the dogs out.

We wrapped up school around 1:30 today. It turned into a beautiful Spring Day and I just could not see keeping the kids inside working on homework. The rest of the afternoon was spent outside with a the kids and a neighbor and her kids enjoying the sunshine. I am becoming accustomed to this new reality. It is not my favorite reality, but what matters most is that my kids are happy and healthy. My oldest is volunteering as a fireman with the rescue squad in our home county in TN. Unfortunately my sister will be unemployed by next week, I have a cousin who is also unemployed and here before long my son might also be unemployed. Let us all join together in prayer for all of those that are being negatively impacted by this situation. Please be with the Military Members whose movements are frozen for 60 days. This will include those set to leave for or return from a deployment.

God Bless!

The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Progress

Tuesday, hmm that sounds boring. In theory I would be counting down the days until next week. Next week is supposed to be our Spring Break. So for right now that means absolutely nothing. It does lighten my workload, but I will still need the kids to catch up on school work that we haven't done. This includes a Living History Poster Board, math exercises, and reading out loud.

Started off good, no dramatics, very little opposition to the work. My son's school called and we worked out a viable schedule. My daughter's meet group made me realize that we had only started on the surface concerning her school work.

Currently I am sitting at the kitchen table between my two kids. I am listening to my daughter do a math exercise on Google Meet with a teacher. My son is pretending that he knows how to write a story. This story is like plain white bread. I have been assisting him with ideas and punctuation and paragraph set up. Overall these two kids have been working hard. Lunch time had to be adjusted a bit to accommodate Google Meets. I am counting down the minutes until we reach a stopping point. I am also hoping that our stopping point allows me enough time to catch up on one show. Just one  show, that is all that I really want.

My kids were not as impressed with the school lunch today. My son ate all the chicken nuggets that were between both meals and I made my daughter a peanut butter and Jelly.

Last night my family went on a small neighborhood walk. Our post is doing a Teddy Bear hunt, and were able to see two Teddy Bears. This made my kids so happy. Once we got home they each found a Teddy Bear to put outside. We also drew pretty pictures on our sidewalk for passer byes to see. While we were out we had to pass a playground. Let me tell you that this looked. like a first day of warm weather neighborhood meetup. We walked around the area and were equally surprised that so many people were in one place and all of the kids were playing on the playground equipment. It is equally sad that right now you look at such a scene and think to yourself how reckless this is. Just one month ago we were all flocking to the playgrounds to savor the warm sunshine and the feeling of belonging to a community.

I am not what is considered a millennial as I was born in the late 70s, so this is not my time to shine. I am okay with secluding myself inside my house to regroup, but at some point I will need human interaction again. Right now, this is not possible. I have not been inside of a grocery store since last Friday. I am sure I will have to go soon as we are creeping ever closer to no milk and avocado. Going to the park on Sunday was when I rounded the corner to more caution. I want life to return to normal, whatever that new normal would be. I miss my two PTO board activities and friendships. I miss afternoon pick up at my daughter's school. In the end, I know I am doing what is best for my family. My husband must still go to work, and that in itself continues to put us in a moderate risk area, so this is what we need to do. Never mind that my sister and my dad think that all of this social distancing is for the birds.

In my own home I have played around with conspiracy theories, but honestly, who hasn't? Even before this current crazy, the last four years have been led by the crazy and unpredictable who love to vent all the Nation's problems on social media and sprinkle that with hate and just all around bully mentality. I pray for simpler times, but I guess that is exactly what every generation has done. Imaging that we are experiencing the roaring 20's. Not like the 1920s, but an entirely new version of social and political unrest with a crazy virus to keep it exciting. Even in the 1920,s into the 30's hate and racisms were profound and here we are again. I am a patterns person and that makes me often presume or make conclusions in a particular way.

Ya'll stay strong and keep doing you :)

Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Monday Again

Monday

Not a bad Monday considering how most Monday's go.

I got out of bed just a little later than my customary 6:30, try 6:42a.m. Jumped in the shower, ever mindful of the sleeping household. Grabbed a cup of focus tea and turned on the News. Not much in new, but still interesting statistics. I personally blame both the Republicans and the Democrats for the current state of things. I feel that if there wasn't so much bickering between the two parties they might actually accomplish something. I am sad because I feel like the election this year will not be fair as no one can really get out and vote in the primaries. Ah, but that is not really the point of all of this.

I managed to get breakfast started and everyone awake by 8, though not all feet were on the floor. Today my husband was home from work and he was able to convince our angry princess to show up to breakfast. His presence in the house managed to keep everything on a grouchy but productive spin. The husband and I toggled between computers and kids. I think that my husband finally saw and understood why I get so stressed out. The kids and the two of us worked hard until 11. For me it was a lot of printing and organizing what needed to be done and in what order. For the husband it was attempting to get my son to interact with him and to respond to direct questions. They also worked on handwriting. The big Social Studies project shouldn't be too hard to put together. Today my daughter worked on a lot of math. She had her first Google Meet and she did well. Great participation and she was good at answering the Math questions. If only she would to that for us.

After a full day of watching my son tread water, I sent an email to his teachers to let them know something had to give. He is struggling with the navigation between the two learning platforms and with the time frames given for the work. This transition has been hard for him as he is out of routine. That is not an easy thing for him. I figure by the end of the week, he will be in a routine and then it is Spring break.

Virtual Spirit week for both kids. Daughter was crazy socks and my son was PJs. This was a lot of fun.

We have had several great days of family time in the house together. I expect some will not be so great. I do miss my afternoon quiet time and getting to watch my shows. That has not happened in over a week. I have increased my junk food intake. I am trying not to, but stress for me equals eating as I am no longer a smoker. I am pretty sure when my daughter returns to school they are going to be sad that she knows how to carry and borrow in Math class. I do not understand those crazy blocks or whatever they are using. Why reinvent the wheel?

Tonight's dinner is going to be an easy one. Our meat situation is just about down to large packages of chicken breast and a few varieties of fish.

Again I implore everyone to stick to your own house, walks around the neighborhood, skipping the playgrounds and keeping a great social distance.

Stay safe and be blessed!

Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: The weekend

Saturday lazy day. All well made productive stay in the house plans have been canceled, well accept for accountability calls that roll in at 8a.m. sharp.

No news stations for this household today. Talked to the Dad, he is not staying in as much as he should, but he is using the time out to assist others. Netflix and Hulu will keep us company and the trampoline outside will watch the kids. Oh, wait, I will look out the window at the occasionally.

A note on how we spent our Friday night. It was a true eye opening experience. My hard working husband has truly been feeling under the weather with horrible pounding headaches and a numbness in one of his legs. Lack of energy and a near fainting episode with the feeling of floating. After visiting sick call the medic advised an appointment on Monday but the ER immediately. What a scary prospect. The pros and cons were weighed over dinner and finally the decision was made to go.

We weren't exactly sure what the hospital protocol was, but we knew most likely we would have to take him, drop him and go from there. We loaded the kids in the car and once we arrived we went into the lobby to be greeted by the nursing staff and security guards. All of the personnel were wearing gloves and masks. SCARY! They questioned us as to who was being seen and said the kids had to go. No one under 18 unless they are sick. WOW! Hubby tells them he is feeling off and when he said headaches so bad they cause nausea, I honestly thought I heard the air leave the room and everyone draw back with eyes wide in unison. I was forced to return to the car with the kids and no parting touch. We waited nearly an hour before he called to say he was in a room and they felt it was not so serious. So the prospect was wait in the car with the kids for an indeterminate time or return to Post, that is almost a 30 minute drive. I decided to call our attached neighbor and ask her if I could leave my kids with her for just a bit. Without hesitation she said yes. Upon knocking on her door, I am met by her anxious husband who grills me on my health, the kids, my husband. Honestly I was surprised, but then I really wasn't it. He said to me that I would ask the same and I knew in that instant that I would not. My southern roots are so deep that I knew I would swoop any kids in need into my house without a moment's pause. I would be like the lady on this show I watched who died trying to protect a little girl who was already infected, but she didn't know that until after it was too late. I am thankful for their caution and their agreement to watch my kids. In hindsight I know I should never have put them in that position. In the e nd it was determined that my husband does in fact have migraines and that he is okay. It also took nearly four hours for the hospital to come to this decision. As a caution when I was about to enter his hospital room, they made me put on a protective covering, mask and gloves. All were grossly uncomfortable. Once we returned home we took off our shoes, sprayed them down. Tossed all jackets and clothing into the laundry and showered.

Going forward we will just stay home. No take out, No store until we really need to go. We will not invite others in, we will not go into other's homes. We will also avoid playgrounds and stick to open air places where we keep our distance from others.

I know people say that is called panic and being sheep, but how do you know who is right? How do you know which way the dice will fall? So I urge each person reading this to do what is best for your family and do not judge how others react.

We spent Saturday in PJs all day. The kids went outside to jump on trampoline. We made our own Subway type sandwiches and just ourselves relax and unwind.

On Sunday we made a mistake. In the moment it seemed like a good idea. We went to the Bernheim Forest to see the Giants. Unfortunately, it appeared like everyone else in our part of Kentucky had the same idea. Thankfully it was a colder day. Once we followed the long line of cars and parked, we decided to avoid the groups of people. This meant that we would not be seeing giants up front. My 40 year old bladder was not cooperating and I needed to pee. The restroom was not crowded and I got out of there quickly. We did not walk around the beautiful pond or on the cute bridges. We walked through the pine trees. We skirted the popular paths and play areas or statues of art. We found a secluded trail and only passed three families on this trail. Each time I pushed my kids into the shrubbery and instructed them to face the trees. We found an out of the way area to eat our lunch. Then we headed back to the car and home where everyone showered immediately.

My family will not be doing this again. I will share my experience so that others know that this was not a wise choice. That my decision to push this family outing was reckless. Reckless not only to my family but to all others who were at that park.

It is hard to shelter in place. It is hard to avoid places that bring joy or relaxation. It is important to find new ways to enjoy the emergence of Spring. We must be proactive in curbing this nasty virus.

God Bless!

Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Day 5 breakdown

I started our day bad.

Guilt is washing over me because I completely broke down before 8a.m. I nearly cried. I did a lot of yelling. Most of this was directed at my undeserving husband. He is such a calm individual. I love him for the rational way he looks at things. Even with his offers of help, I was still so upset. I was resistant to his help. I had it in my mind that I absolutely must go to the store this morning and that was adding to the crazy. I even threatened to just walk out and head home to TN. The crazy inside my head is trying to bust out. I am loosing any sense of sanity that I might have had. I struggle with change. I struggle with computers and anything computer related. I already walk a thin line between sanity and insanity and this is pushing me over the edge. I was so upset that my husband kept telling me to control myself. He is so right. But how am I supposed to control myself when these emotions are boiling over and making me crazy? My awesome husband once again talked me down with his calm demeanor and took one of our children to work with him. I know how hard he works. I know how stressful his job is and I know that for the next little bit his work load will increase. Somehow this awesome man gets up everyday and does his absolute best to be positive and put a positive spin on things. For me to let crazy out of the bag, it is completely unfair to him and to my children.

Now I am off to work on a Google slide project with my sweet son, wish me luck!

Morning class with my son went okay. Either the school is not teaching him how to research or he is not paying attention. We did the beginning research for his project that is coming up. Watching this child attempt to type by pecking at the keyboard is excruciating! Thankfully not as many emails today. I think we actually made progress. I hope we actually made progress anyway.

Worked with the kids in the afternoon. My son did the rest of his work and my daughter did several online videos.

Took my son to Aldis to stock up on baking, sandwich and veggie supplies, then a much needed Starbucks run. Once we arrived at the PX and walked through the door we were greeted by a Solider asking if we had a fever, had been sick, been around anyone sick or traveled where there were active cases. After the questions our hands were squirted with hand sanitizer. I found the cleaning supply section and was greeted by what I am sure is the scariest employee they could find to monitor those aisles. Not much for intimidation and being followed aisle to aisle I decided to head on over to pick up my daughter and get the kids lunch at the school.

We are now taking the afternoon off and enjoying the nice fresh air outside.

Ya'll keep your heads up. It is true we need to let the crazy out of the bag from time to time. Unfortunately that is an ugly process.

Chronicals of a Not so Ordinary Mom: Day 4 Online learning

Thursday, you have not been so kind to me

Hurray! Online learning was official for my son today. The school district went live with their learning platform.

Can you say Confusing as Hell? It really shows that I am not computer savvy. All day I have been heard to say "Go back there, push that one, how do I go back to the other page? where is your email?" It has been a nightmare. I have called the school twice in near tears to calmly rage against the injustice of it all and they have been fabulous and outstanding. I also want to add that a child with special needs is not exactly cut out for all of this. I swear every five minutes he gets an email saying this has changed, this doesn't apply but this does. I know he is as lost as I am. I finally have what I think is a fairly concrete schedule, and I created him a little calendar with the virtual class times. I also gave him a folder with import paperwork we pulled off the Google Classroom site.

Now my poor little daughter. She is trying hard to work for me. But I am continually ask her to hold on, let me check on your brother. Where were we? I tried to make math a little fun. We used her multipliers and construction paper. She has been a real trooper with all the chaos.

I even managed to fit in a Zoom session with my Bible Study class. In all honesty this caused as much of a distraction as everything else. To begin with I had to download the zoom app, then figure out how to join, and finally how to mute myself. It was distracting to myself and my kids. I was hoping to listen while I assisted them, but that was far from the reality.

I still need to clean my house and do some laundry. I am thinking most of that will happen on the weekend. The kids will be pretty bummed about it, but we don't have much choice. Plus each one has a project that they will need to work on over the weekend.

Things to be thankful for today: I only have two little kids and only one of those is in a more in depth grade. My dogs are happy, my family is happy for the most part and healthy. We do have internet and we are getting a few things completed.

I won't lie and say that I did not loose my skittles, because I did a lot. I screamed into the air at the horrendous lack of understanding I have of all things computer. I railed at the nonstop stream of emails and text messages from the school and the post. I nearly cried when I could not get zoom to work or to find the link for my son's second Google meet. We did miss one because somehow in all of the time I was working with my daughter, and trying to read mails, and possibly checking FB I missed the email or link or whatever with the time of day.

I am extremely thankful that the school is offering free lunches. This gives us a chance to get out of the house go get food and never leave the car. Unfortunately I have to schedule time to get milk as we are nearing the end of a gallon. Tonight we will have an easy soup, this is something that will become a leftover and hopefully tomorrow will be much better.

We ended the day on a sour note. I let my stress at the situation guide my mood and when my stubborn 7 year old refused to cooperate, well I lost it. It was an ugly bout of screaming and many bad words. I felt awful after, and nothing can repair the damage caused by my instability. The truth of the matter is, I walk a fine line between sanity and insanity.

God Bless Y'all and may you succeed in all that you do

The Chronicals of a Not So Ordinary Mom: Day 3

For a Wednesday it wasn't half bad. My daughter dubbed today Wacky Wednesday due to the rain that was intermittent and then heavier on one side of the post than the other. A few minutes later it was sunny, but not for long.

My husband once again helped our daughter accomplish much of her morning math problems. We have one week's worth done. That for me is a huge success!. I feel fairly confident that my son is ready to go for his online school. For the most part it is set up and ready to go.

Today's only mishap was a schedule miscommunication with the husband. He mistakenly thought I would just be at home. Unfortunately, I had to drop off the hearing aide boots to my son's school at just about the same time the husband wanted us to see him reenlist. He got the time changed. I let the kids have a teeny bit of free time and just when I am combing everyone's hair, I receive a call from my husband asking me to buy a dozen donuts on the way. We begin the mad dash scramble out the door and to the donut place. Naturally the donut place had no donuts. I ran next doo to the gas station and bought donuts. The reenlistment went well, and I was beyond proud of my husband.

My husband decided to reenlist during a time when the world is chaos. We are in a grey area right now and still he made this decision. I am extremely proud of all he has accomplished and all that he has yet to accomplish.

I decided to actually brave the commissary today. To park my van, get the kids and walk inside. We did it too. We were only able to buy two packages of chicken. This was okay for me as I only wanted something small to eat when things at my house are far from this new normal. Because you see, while the world is grinding to a halt, many parts of our existence are not grinding to a halt. The kids and I must still watch my husband get dressed, eat with us, and drive off to his place of duty. I took a few brief moments to explain to my kids that their Dad is sort of on stand by because he might be called upon to go away. We don't know. It is how it always is. This is something we have grown used to. We watch the rest of the world struggle with canceled plans, disrupted vacations, and so much more. We not in sympathy and realize that our already complicated lives might get just a little more complicated.

The schools on post were handing out sack lunches. Since we were out, I took the kids to get theirs. What a blessing when we looked inside to see enough food to share with my husband. So we went back to his work and sat in chairs around his desk and ate a sandwich. Now I painted this as a pretty picture, but let me just tell you the reality. The reality is that after the commissary on the way to the school my son began to meltdown. He thrives on routine and for him home is supposed to be his down time. At the point we got the food he really wanted to go home, but my daughter really wanted to share with her Dad. So as we are driving across post my son is in the back whining. I mean almost dog howling whining. He was in tears by the time we arrived and he stood away from all of us sulking. He couldn't talk without tears. He was done. My heart breaks for him because I know how hard this transition is for him. I know that he will thrive on getting to stay home, but the having to do school work will bring him down.

Overall it was a truly good day. I did have a headache for most of it. I also tried to distance myself a bit more from fb and text messages. I posted on my fb that from 8 until 2:30 that I am unavailable for phone calls and text messages will be answered as I can. I need to focus on the school work. I need to focus on my mental health and that of my kids. I cannot control what is going on outside of my doors, but I can control what is going on inside of my house. I will also not be making any trips out during that time frame. I am hoping the weather turns nice again and we can walk our little Chihuahuas or ride our bikes.

Be blessed and know that hump day is done.

Chronicals of a not so Ordinary Mom: Day 2

Tuesday

I woke up by 6:15a.m. Hubby had already headed off to his morning PT. I sat in my bed counting down the minutes until I needed to be in the shower. I wanted to watch the morning news. It was the same panic as the last month.

By 7:30 the husband is coming in the door. Thankfully his car alarm alerted me to the fact the kids were still sleeping. I get my son up with very little issues. He heads out to the kitchen for his daily yogurt. Sleeping Beauty is still under the blankets despite a lamp and curtains thrown wide. I start breakfast and she stumbles into the kitchen dressed but not really awake. Somehow hubby ends up cooking his own food.

It's a new day and I am ready, well as ready as a non-homeschooling mom can be at the prospect of having kids at home all day. My husband decides he will take our son to his work. I am thankful, but secretly sad, as I was actually hoping he would take our daughter.

I need to get my son's fundraiser products ordered, and I set her up with a Spanish YouTube video session. This of course is not related to anything that her teacher sent home, I just needed her to be distracted. Two minutes into it she is board. Somehow I end up wasting nearly an hour on that and the time to retrieve my son is nearing. We Have Done Nothing! I set her down to work on her sentences with spelling words. I make her lunch, so about ten minutes later I come back and she has done two sentences out of the eight she needs to do. We somehow get the sentences done, and leave the house.

Away we go to pick up my son take him to his school and check out a Chrome book. Wow, the school has some nice computers! I find out that much of his classwork will be online. I walk out of the school feeling even more defeated.

Back home where I let the kids eat a snack and watch videos about Saint Patrick's Day. Wow, it was established in 1798! I get my daughter started on videos for one of her Google Classrooms and then figure out how to get my son's Chromebook on my network. Done, and naturally I cannot figure out how to get it to print.

I have a facebook meltdown where I basically verbally cry my eyes out to the PTO thread. I express my inability to be a teacher, to grasp common core, to be nice and I cry because I don't have enough junk food in the house to eat my feelings.

I'm still upset I only bought a chocolate bar at the gas station instead of a bottle of wine. I am thinking how nice a Jack and Coke would taste right about now. I want to quit, yet I want to succeed. I want my life back, I know I should be happy to have my kids at home around me, but then that requires effort and brain power and most days I am merely getting by.

I sense my anxiety getting higher by the minute. Impulse control is harder for me when I am stressed out. I have worked so hard since January to loose that one pound. I am lost and it will take until just about when the kids go to school again to get comfortable with where I am now.

God Bless Ya'll We made it to Tuesday!

Chronicals of a not so Ordinary Mom: Day 1

Monday, as if that is not bad enough, this one happens to be a three day weekend for my husband.

Of course our schedules say we will be up, dressed, beds made and breakfast done and over by 8:30 a.m.

That did not happen. I woke up closer to 9 the husband after me. We got everyone fed, and we started strong on school work, well for one kid. She made great progress on one worksheet. Somehow in all the time we spent looking over her school work, figuring out Google Classroom, and eating lunch, it was nearly go time for an appointment.

I am not quite sure what to make of Google Classroom. Yes, it is quite fascinating. I can see how it will be an added bonus. I cannot see how it fits neatly into my poster board schedule.

I will embrace the crazy of this. I will try not cry each time I open one of the three folders I received from my daughter's school.

I promise on this day I only lost my skittles twice. Once was during breakfast when I was asking my son questions. I think I speak a different language than a 10 year old does, because he could not understand anything I asked. "How do you log in at school?" "Does it look like this?" "So and So said they are already working on something where is yours?" Bet you can't guess the answer that I received..... "I don't know" Ha ha you did guess it!.

The second time it was the second grade common core that got me. I see a lot of confusion when I look at the math folder. I also asked my second grader questions and she was even more confused than my son. I started to loose it. My husband stepped in and said "Don't worry guys, we all know mommy is a little crazy, don't let her scare you" He also told the dogs that he was sorry I was so scary.

I ended up in the bathroom almost in tears because I know my limits. I know I have a low tolerance for what I deem bull crap. I like to see results, I get impatient. I struggle to explain myself multiple times. Tears and I am done. I am thinking of all of the things I will need to be doing. Will there be time for me? Yes, I am so selfish!

Our appointment was a bit of a waste of time. My son will need some work done on his feet, but no surgeries can be scheduled right now. We did learn from his X Rays that he is full of poop and gas. Then we went in search of food.

Food at restaurants is only take out now. We found a taco shop in a Mexican Grocery. And wouldn't you know there was not bread or cleaning supplies to be found there either. Since we were an hour from home, we took the tacos out to our minivan, cranked up the heat and turned on the DVD player. The kids thought this was super fun. Mom and Dad thought it was okay.

It was disheartening for me. I was also deeply saddened to see all of the restaurants that are normally busy at 5pm empty. I was thinking of all the people who are going home early from these jobs, or who may not have a job until this madness ends. I was thinking of the economy. I prayed hard for all those affected by this world wide.

Stay Tuned for Tuesday's adventure!