Trial Run: The first few days

On a Thursday in the wee hours of the morning, I watched my husband walk out our front door to his ride to the airport. A family emergency in his home country, Mexico, has called him away. I knew at that moment that I couldn't do the alone. My throat was sore, I was tired and I knew it was all going to go wrong. By Thursday afternoon, I knew I was correct.

The kids awoke like usual to just me. The difference being that their father's car was still parked in front of the house. I got my son off to school and my daughter ready for PWOC. I went there with a  heavy heart. I wanted to so badly to fly my oldest son out here while my husband was away. But that wasn't to be. The first reason being that I couldn't get in touch with his dad, and the second reason being that the tickets were $800. In comparison, that was how much my husband paid to fly from El Paso to Mexico, and this would be Tennessee to El Paso. Sheesh highway robbery right there. But my daughter and I made it to PWOC and we made it with time to spare. Just as the study began my husband called to say that his plane had made it to Houston. I had a good time at the Bible Study then came home to work on school registration.

That afternoon my son had speech and occupational therapy. I am beginning to think that I can do this. I am putting it in my head as "Okay, I have today, tomorrow is Friday, then the weekend, the week will be normal" It is survival mode. I am planning a menu. But I lost my footing on the ledge of confidence as soon as we walked out of the therapy office. I am juggling my purse, a snack bag, a stroller, my son, my daughter who is sitting in the stroller, and why on earth I didn't buckle her I don't know, but anyway she jumps out of it and proceeds to run across the parking lot toward a car that is in the process of backing up. I am able to run and catch her and yell for the driver to stop. But I am shaking and my heart isn't beating normally. So we head to the store and I buy her a cute piggy back pack harness thing because I cannot loose her. I cannot keep up with her and I cannot get her to listen to me. Then we grab Taco Bell and come home. I make it through bath time, we give a very quick call to my husband, and then I make double chocolate muffins as if nothing in the world were off kilter.

As I am trying to fall asleep, I hear every single noise the kids make, the dog makes, the neighbors make. And then I begin to freeze. Always when my husband is not home I freeze. But I made it through the night. Waking to an even more sore throat. I have an appointment on this day. I have daycare for my daughter. I am in the process of getting us ready for the day, I take my son out to the bus and my sweet daughter locks the screen door behind me. I am in jeans a light T-Shirt, and flip flops and it is barely 40 degrees outside. Yes the sun is shinning, but that doesn't mean it is warm outside. I begin pounding on the screen, trying to get her to let me in. But she just holds up her princess dress up shoes and says shoe over and over. So in exasperation and the hope that maybe, just maybe I did not actually lock the back door after bringing the dog back inside I run around the building to my back yard. The neighbor's dogs are out and barking and there it is my back door locked. I bang on that door, but she can't undo the dead bolt. After a couple of minutes I run back to the front and screen is unlocked.

Now I am convinced that I am outnumbered. I am not so sure I can make it through. After all, Saturday is a free day. There is no church, there is no family fun day on post. It is me and two kids and a dog. I am very afraid. After my appointment I notice that it is only 9:30 and I have daycare until 11:30, you better believe I took advantage of that! I headed straight to the Starbucks, then I meandered through the aisles of the PX and stopped into the Dollar Tree to buy some little note books I needed. I rolled up at the daycare at 11:15 feeling much better than I had when I dropped of my little bundle of joy. I come home and  fed her. Popped  in a DVD and we both nap with the dog. Then I prep the nights chicken tenders and French fries and wait on my son to get home.

Once he is home we take the dog and go play at the park. It was a beautiful afternoon and with no need to have supper on the table early, I let them play for over an hour. They did well with the fatty dinner. I gave them corn in the hopes of making it a slightly more healthy meal. I then gave the kids a bath. Made them stay upstairs so I could have some much needed quiet time. I cleaned the downstairs bathroom, I washed and dried a load of towels. That load of towels is still in the dryer waiting to be put away. I swept and mopped. Then I went upstairs and put my extremely cranky daughter to bed and my son and I watched a movie together.

I woke up on Saturday feeling like I could drink a zillion gallons of water and a very scratchy throat. I had a plan. Post office, commissary, home, pick up dog, walk to dog park, maybe do the playground and then home. It went okay. First of all it took me forever to get motivated. We all were up at seven. But before I could get in the shower I decided that the entire upstairs needed to be cleaned. Then I vacuumed one side of the upstairs. Then I got the kids dressed, and finally at nearly nine I get a shower. While showering I was pondering the breakfast menu. Saturdays are pancake days. Not my strong point, I can make some mean pumpkin breads, but I can't make decent pancakes, not even with a box mix. So I decide that I will use my new heart shaped cookie cutters and make the kids pancakes. The pancakes were awful at best, but they were shaped like hearts. My daughter ate hers quickly, my son picked at his and finally when asked said that it was not good. Being the super stellar mommy that I am, I only ate the part of the pancakes that were left after making hearts.

So off we go and then my daughter shows her true colors and made sure that everyone was staring at us. Yes she was wearing her really cute piggy backpack, which she has now decided she hates because it restrains her, but throwing herself onto the floor is still an option and she chose that option. Naturally people are staring at the mommy who has this screaming child on the floor with a harness on. I made eye contact with each and every one of them. I made sure that they knew  I knew that they were passing judgment on me, but it didn't change how I was going to handle this situation, not in the least. If you think it is easy to stand strong in the face of two-year old dramatics in the middle of a crowded Saturday Morning post office, you are wrong. But yet again, I survived! The commissary was a much easier and faster task.

Now it was time to tackle the dog park. I thought for sure this would be a breeze. I again put the piggy backpack on my daughter and she was okay with it as long as the tether part remained in the pocket of the piggy. My son was attempting to walk the dog, but they were extremely slow. My daughter prefers to sprint everywhere she goes. She does not take into account that sidewalks end in crosswalks or that the rest of the family is still a block behind us. So I tried to pull her back and this launched her into a huge tantrum. I finally got everyone back into a little cluster. I tried to pull the "I am leaving you here" Trick when she threw herself to the ground, but it didn't work, she had curled into a fetal position and was just peacefully soaking up the sun. In frustration I pick her up, and again we set off, but she is heavy so I put her down. Then we begin the dropping her feet out from under her game and I am holding her arm and struggling to keep her feet firmly planted on the ground. It was exhausting and frustrating, but we finally made it to the dog park. Our little dog sniffed at the big dogs through the fence, drank some water from his bowl, peed three times and laid down. Not once in the next thirty minutes did he get up. I ask my son if he wants to go to the playground and thankfully he says no.

Javier at the dog park

Once home I make French fries (yes again!) and hamburgers, but I forgot to heat up the left over corn. Lunch was a success. Everyone, including the dog, loved my food.

 I get most of the mess cleaned up, pop in  a movie and proceed to take a light sleep nap for about an hour. When I wake up I move the van out of the garage and get the little power wheels dune buggy out for the kids to ride up and down the street. They also color with chalk. It was an easy hour or so of making the kids tired. My husband did call. It was nice to hear his voice and to know he was okay. I fed the kids hot dogs, leftover refried beans and corn. They ate it very well.

 I made myself some spinach dip and chips and while I was eating,  I made them watch cartoons. They ended up eating a bunch of chips.  Then it was time to sweep and mop. I gave them a bath and we relaxed and then they went to bed and I ate some very yummy chocolate ice cream. But now it is late and I need to be in bed. Church tomorrow.

My brain is having a tug-a-war on the church decision. Part of it says that I should stay home and "rest" and part of it says I should go because that will kill half the day and my daughter will be in the nursery. That means one hour with my son where he can't talk to me. I know, I know, I sound like a horrible mother, not in the least bit thankful. But here I am alone with the kids, not many breaks and I know that this year this is the first of several times it will be like this. This is also the shortest amount of time I will be without my husband. I am thankful though. Two years ago I didn't cook at all. I have managed to pull of two successful meals so far. I know I can do this because all things are possible through Jesus Christ.


Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4-6-7